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potatochip321
1 731 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes26 Current upvotes26 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceJuly 30, 2021
Recent forum posts
Feel hand around neck, arteries bulging in head with pain, numbness in jaw and cheeks
Anxiety Support / by potatochip321
Last post
 August 27th, 2022
...See more This is not a symptom I experience often, but it is concerning. I have a history of panic disorder (the most severe case that any doctor I encountered for 3 years had ever seen including in mental hospitals, but I live in a rural state and did not have agoraphobia at the time, so that would influence how many patients they could even compare me to), which is has been in remission for 3 years. In the past year, I have had a lot of times where I feel a panic attack beginning (often after experiencing hallucinations from schizoaffective disorder), but am able to stop them before they continue for very long. That all is not very relevant. What is relevant is that today, I became extremely worried about something, and for about 30 minutes, I felt as if someone was choking me with their hands on my throat, not only closing up my throat considerably but also making the majority of my face, from the tops of my cheeks down to the very bottom of my jaw feel numb and tingly as if they were losing blood flow. And as concerningly, I felt such pressure in what felt like the arteries all over my face and forehead, and began feeling a tight, aching pain over my right eye on my forehead. I was not having a panic attack - and that would be the least of my concerns. I made myself remain “calm,” so to speak. I am concerned because an hour later, after I discovered the thing I was worried about was resolved, I am laying calmly in bed and my face feels loose or sore. Worse, I feel a pressure and fullness in my forehead and the back of my head, especially over my right eye - the right eyebrow is scrunched down and frozen at an unnatural angle (as if I were super angry, or screaming at someone) while the left is unaffected. Some of my fingers just became numb and cold as I type this (and part of the wrist on that hand), but that happens sometimes and seems unrelated to anxiety. I had a Transient Ischemic Attack 3-4 years ago at age 19 which is similar to a stroke but does not cause brain damage, however it increases future stroke and heart attack risk. I am not going to be happy if I find out that my anxiety can literally kill me. Hopefully it’s something else. I can get to the ER if I need to since family lives nearby, but last time the doctor treated me like trash.
Response to a certain post: (TW)
Depression Support / by potatochip321
Last post
 August 22nd, 2021
...See more It is extremely inappropriate to be wishing death on an entire gender on a depression forum where many people are suicidal. Sick & irresponsible. I can only assume that type of behavior is not supposed to be allowed. I didn't want to comment on that post because it would result in it getting more interaction (responses). And since it probably matters to them, I'm female.
Scared to Start with New Therapist
Trauma Support / by potatochip321
Last post
 August 8th, 2021
...See more Hi. I moved a new state which my therapist, who I had been seeing via video, doesn't have a license in and therefore can no longer see me. Since turning 18, there has been a lot of control of my finances & very weird instances of things such as my mother driving up to my school, taking (dragging) me into an electronic store several hundred miles from my home, then refusing to let me leave until I bought $2,000 worth of products when I was making $8,000 that year. There has been a lot of fighting & back and forth over the years of me trying to get all my services under my own name, especially when I was supporting myself (my college, rent, utilties, groceries etc.) while paying several thousand dollars in medical copays per year & was still not allowed to leave & purchase my own insurance. I did not like the feeling of being dependent on the person who molested me for health insurance, nor for anything else. Despite being financially independent, I was never "permitted" to purchase my own health insurance. Now several years later, even after purchasing my own home in another state, I have still not been "allowed" to leave. I'm sure this sounds crazy, in some ways. They are still trying to get me to move "back home," to this day. "Your brothers miss you so much," they used to say, then when I came home to visit out of guilt, he would molest me again. Here's my deal: I'm afraid that if I start seeing a new therapist, they will not believe that I was abused, because I am still on their insurance. How can I trust that a new therapist will believe anything I say when I'm still on their insurance? Should I just forego using the insurance at all, to avoid the paranoia that'll eat through me otherwise?
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