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placidWest9840
1,181 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 82 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts77 Forum upvotes81 Current upvotes81 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceMay 13, 2015
Recent forum posts
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Feeling all alone, have noone to talk to
Depression Support / by placidWest9840
Last post
 April 21st, 2021
...See more What can I do if I'm incredibly lonely and desperate to talk to people (friends, family), but at the same time I'm afraid of talking to others and avoid it because my BDD and social anxiety makes me feel not good enough and socialising feels risky and hard? I live with a partner but we no longer speak we're just ships in the night not saying anything to one another, and I haven't seen any of my friends/family in more than a year due to covid (they live in a different city). How can I have the courage to be social, how can I help myself to feel less lonely?
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Alternative therapies?
Depression Support / by placidWest9840
Last post
 February 28th, 2021
...See more After being very s**cidal and not well at all since November, I'm starting to feel slightly better the last couple of weeks. I think a change of diet, time off work, and spring coming has helped, but I've also been taking Ginkgo Biloba for a while now...has anyone else tried it? I can't figure out if its a placebo effect, or if it actually has contributed towards me feeling better. I know its recommended for dementia and is supposed to help with brain inflammation (which is supposed to be an issue in depression). I would be interested in hearing about any advice or similar experiences with Gingko Biloba helping depression, so I can figure out if it is actually doing something and whether I should keep taking it
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Anxiety about contacting my friends (Social anxiety)
Anxiety Support / by placidWest9840
Last post
 February 4th, 2021
...See more I am desperate to reach out to my friends as I wish I could tell them whats going on with my depression so I could get some support from them. But I feel too anxious and bad about myself to contact them becasue I don't know what to say and I don't feel I have anything to offer or deserve help. I am also anxious about the fact that, once I message them, there is pressure to respond promptly and keep up the conversation and I don't feel confident in my ability to 'keep up my end of the bargain' and have interesting things to say or be there for them. So it feels easier and safer not to message them, even though I'm desperate for contact and the social isolation I'm experiencing makes me feel so much worse. When I try to message people I write stuff, get upset and panicked and feel sick, then delete it and don't send. My social skills and sense of self have disintegrated and that makes it so hard. Any advice how I can overcome this?
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Just ranting idk...feel so alone and lost
Depression Support / by placidWest9840
Last post
 January 21st, 2021
...See more I feel so desperately sad and alone and depressed. My life feels less and less worth living every day, and its really affecting my ability to take care of myself, communicate with people and function. But I also feel like people are downplaying what I have going on and not helping. Which makes me worry that perhaps I'm not ill, just a defective weak person. Or that loads of people feel like I do and they just get over it and suck it up like a proper adult. Or even that I'm right, noone cares and my life isn't worth living and I'm not entitled to help or to live so noone is coming to save me. My doctor was so reluctant to refer to me counselling, my friends and family have given up on my situation they rarely check in on me even though I implied how low I've been feeling lately, my partner doesn't seem too worried about me. So maybe what I'm experiencing is normal, but I'm not sure it is - I never behaved like this before depression, and also I've never met someone irl who's depression affected their ability to function as much as mine. I guess I just don't even know if I'm sick or not any more, I've felt this way for so long that now its starting to feel normal and I worry I'm overreacting or expecting too much from doctors and MH services. I'm starting to feel like maybe the self harm and s**cidal thoughts aren't something that needs fixing, they're normal for me now and something I deserve so I should quit bothering people about it. But at the same time my life is starting to feel unbearable because I vaguely remember my old life and how I used to be, and I want to believe that that is my true normal and I should aim to return to it.
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Should I be worried about this or it this normal?
Depression Support / by placidWest9840
Last post
 January 19th, 2021
...See more I've been depressed for many years and find it harder and harder to relate to other people and empathise. Recently I started feeling that I can't bear other people's happiness. Seeing other people who are good looking or happy on TV, on social media, etc causes me pain in my stomach, makes me cry, makes me feel jealous and angry at myself, and I can't help feeling awful about my life and the way I look. I can't bear any magazines (online or offline) or images of people on youtube, twitter, pinterest, news sites etc now at all and I avoid them completely as it hurts so bad. Even if one of the few friends I have left sends me a picture of them doing something or of their new hairstyle etc it just makes me feel sad or even sick, instead of happy for them. I feel like a bad person. I have never had these bitter feelings before
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