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placidNectarine2050
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 4, 2025
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Difficult adult children
Parenting & Pregnancy / by placidNectarine2050
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more This is going to be rather long, but I’d like to get the idea out there. I am at the end of my rope and have nowhere to turn. I have 6 kids ages 30-16. We were your basic wholesome tv show family. I don’t know how things got so turned around. The 30 year old always was a star student and a good athlete. Well rounded kid. His third year of college they reorganized his department and he would need more credits and 2 more years of school, he hit burn out, had an ulcer and ended up quitting. Since then he has serious anger outbursts. Second child 27, divorced with 5 yr old daughter. She married right out of high school, he was Air Force. She also developed and anger issue sometime after they moved to Dc. Hers aren’t as scary as his, but at the drop of a pin she will snap and when she does she is even mean to her child. Verbally abusive to her and anyone in her path. She moved in with us a year ago since the divorce since she had to go back to work and I’m the babysitter. She is messy, doesn’t clean or cook. Asks me what’s for dinner everyday and after dinner leaves the dishes and food for me to clean up. My house was clean and ready for company at anytime before she moved in. Third child(25) had a baby to a guy she knew wasn’t sticking around. I also babysit her now 2 year old. She is also messy. Comes after work to pick up her daughter, cooks eats plays whatever she wants. Doesn’t clean any of it up then leaves. She also yells at me quite often, but not as explosive as the other two. Fourth (23)married and helpful when she wants to be but not really a problem. Her husband is about the same. The fifth(19) was my shy girl. Good student, did dance, and horseback, color guard. She started daring at 15. First guy(15) she said broke up with her because she wouldn’t have sex with him. Second guy (16) would walk through fire for her. They dated for a year. One day he saw her text another guy and asked her about it, she got mad and and started swinging at him and said he hit her. No marks and I one saw him swing. Next guy (19) was leaving for Air Force. She was head over heels, cried for days when he left, spent a lot of time with his mom and family. When he was coming home she begged for him to move in here. If not she’s moving out. We said ok as she was almost done with school and wanted to be sure she finished. He proposed of the plane in uniform. Both families did everything together. She started working late and a few other things that I asked about but seemed to be normal. She ran away one day was gone for 10 months. During that time she told people he assaulted her, I was abusive, and a series of other lies. The story changed every time some one else heard it. She did so many things I can’t even begin to explain. She came back pregant to another guy last march and I welcomed her back and paid for her lawyer to get out of legal trouble she was in. She and boyfriend moved in had the baby and I did everything from the baby shower to a crib and whatever else we could do. She got moody and irritable and one day got mad and exploded on sister that lives here and left again with the baby and told me I’ll never see the baby again because of her sister. I haven’t seen him and she is barely talking to anyone but third child with the 2 yr old. She has caused me more heartache than I thought possible. You best child is 16, he’s a good kid and when she left he tried to be the man to help me. He is always waiting for me to be done with the grandkids and the crap with the older kids, but never complains. Which isn’t fair to him. The two with kids take advantage of me and will not help watch each others kids to give me a break, I watch kids 6-7 days a week spanning from 3:30am - 9:30pm some days. Most often 6am - 6pm. And the moms don’t clean up after the kids because “ it’s not their house and they didn’t let the kids make the mess.” These kids as much as I love them are not parented much, so they’re a lot harder than my 6 were. I have to cancel dr appointments and everything to accommodate their schedules but they will not do the same for me. I am drowning, I am overwhelmed and I have no life of my own. I feel they should come straighten up help with dinners once in while. On their days off watch the others child so I have a day off. My kids are ungrateful spoiled brats. Sorry for the long rant.
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Confused and stuck
Relationship Stress / by placidNectarine2050
Last post
 January 17th
...See more Trigger warning: adult content Been married for a long time. We used to be the golden couple, but that was when he worked, went hunting and fishing and whatever with his brothers and I stayed home and took care of the kids and house. I didn’t have a separate identity. We had a run away child for about 10 months. Never saw it coming, we did everything together.there’s was a lot of things that happened during that time trying to reunite with said child. I struggled with depression and our other kids became closer and really showed up for me. We’d go for drives or drinks or even smash pumpkins. My husband wasn’t interested in being a part of any of this. He would yell at me to stop being stupid and wasting my energy on said child and that I’m not being fair to him by putting my energy Into her. I wasn’t in a romantic mood and he expected me to be and that led to fights almost nightly, each time he got more volatile. The more he pushed the more I resented him. It went on for over a year. Some fights were explosive because I wasn’t full filling my obligations. There were times I was coerced into so that I could stop the harassment and go to sleep and other times I woke up to it starting to happen. Most recently after threatening g to leave me several times he did leave. After me being away with a friend for a mental break he wants me back and wants me to forget the past and start over. I can’t do that. He wants me to decide right now, it’s only been 2 weeks of separation and the child is acting out annd partially left again too. I’m not in the position to make that decision right now. He asked to stay last night since I just got back from my get away and the roads were bad. He made it 2 minutes before he initiated and pushed for it again. I guess what I’m asking is am I being unreasonable for being hurt and wanting more time apart and for him to understand why it hurt me and why I feel the way I feel? There are more issues at hand, like his anger and moods, but this is the most pressing that got us here.
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