Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
pencilmarks
30,348 M Determined Treads 1
PathStep 26 Compassion hearts850 Forum posts113 Forum upvotes333 Current upvotes333 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2022 Member sinceAugust 2, 2020
Recent forum posts
Trying to cope better: trigger warning
Trauma Support / by pencilmarks
Last post
 April 28th, 2022
...See more Most days feels like a struggle to cope better but I'm trying to learn to cope better and to be better We were diagnosed with DID and cptsd. Not every part in our system communicates properly which is hard sometimes. Luckily a part doesn't feel any emotions and sometimes I wish that I could also feel no emotions or this hurt We were sexually abused by adults when we were so young. None of the adults seemed to stop and think that we were just kids. Adults did so many things to hurt us. They did it again and again even when we were crying. They recorded it when sexually abusing us and made so many videos of it. No one made it stop. It's hard knowing that the videos of our abuse can still be there It hurts alot sometimes and mostly we just stay inside the head and let other parts front because it feels scary to be outside. But we are writing here as a form of our own therapy. We hope that everything will be ok -Iris and Daisy (two parts)
Recent memories
Trauma Support / by pencilmarks
Last post
 September 22nd, 2021
...See more I'm a part that has been fronting for about more than a month now. I thought I was going to be the new host but not sure anymore. Maybe me being in denial about some things is the reason for that. Myself and a few older parts switch often now and it doesn't feels like anyone is a specific host? Some memory gaps here and there feels really scary for me. I've started to remember a few events from our childhood and they are related to abuse. But I don't remember all the emotions behind those memories like how some of the other parts remember it with all the emotions they felt. I think becoming aware of some of those memories is good for processing and healing but it also feels scary to me
A place for us
Trauma Support / by pencilmarks
Last post
 January 1st, 2021
...See more Alot of stuff has been going on lately in our sytem. Our main host got triggered due to a totally simple thing that she got herself into. When triggered, she had to practice the grounding techniques that she learned in therapy and try not to go into a panic spree. Soooooo, she is gone now and I have been fronting since then. My name is Jess and I am 18. Although our biological age is 19+. I like to use alot of humor to cope when I am stressed :') I think I am kind of like a bridge in between the adults that are of our biological age and littles of our system. Because my age falls between those two age groups. I can get along well with the littles sometimes when the adults are too stressy and depressy. There are time periods when we dissociate alot, forget stuff alot and sometimes we become a big confusing blob of mess. Then we cannot even understand ourselves or tell who is who. Sigh. Thankfully we are all females so atleast we don't become a genderless blob of mess which would add to the confusion. I know we are all the same person in the same body. But we do not feel totally the same as each other. Anyways, I have been keeping the body healthy in the abscence of the host, not losing our mind or becoming a flimsy sphagetti. The host alwasy tells us to sign off our names at the end of whatever we write. She is so particular in that way. Soooo, yeah, makes sense because it helps with memory and less confusion. Jess
Search more from @pencilmarks
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
33 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Super Active Chief Chat Honest Voice Confident Voice Power Voice Strong Start Milestone Journeying Strong Reconnect Walking Together First Post Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice Contributor Community Collaborator First Compassion Helpful heart Kindness personified Loving Soul Forum Companion Forum Helper Forum Buddy Togetherness Meet & Greet Teammate Forum Friend Meaghan's Heart Strong Bond I
Report an issue