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peachSpruce3635
845 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceOctober 11, 2016
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Trying to find peace
Trauma Support / by peachSpruce3635
Last post
 January 6th, 2022
...See more hello m24 my first post and it’s something that’s very hard for me to come out with. when I was around 5 years old I was molested by my older cousin. My step father at the time would be later convicted for molesting my other cousins I’m not too sure if he molested me. Also another time on a school bus a older girl did sexual things to me. This has never bothered me none of my situation has bothered me until recently. Fast forward a couple years I was probably 7 I ended up molesting my nephew and probably around 14 I had touched my sleeping niece. The first thing I have to say is the amount of shame and guilt I have for this. I feel so fucking evil and sick. So confused I think I tuned all this out like I was in auto pilot. I didn’t start really thinking about it or understanding what I did until recently. I’m not making any sort of excuse. I just want reassurance that I am not a fucking pedofile. I’m not a fucking weirdo. I don’t want to hurt people but I feel sick and ashamed. I don’t have a therapist and I am consider getting one. I was born addicted to crack and my mother ODd never me my father. I have crippling social anxiety although I have made significant improvement. jus looking for advice.
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