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peachBlackberry3094
3,609 M Seeking Light 2
PathStep 30 Compassion hearts154 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes30 Current upvotes30 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2023 Member sinceMay 17, 2019
Recent forum posts
Please help! things are changing in my relationship
Relationship Stress / by peachBlackberry3094
Last post
 March 22nd, 2021
...See more Hey everyone! I really need your advice To begin with, I am someone who's experienced some emotional neglect in my childhood which affected me a lot (some of the consequences are: to feel stressed easily and the difficulty to talk about my thoughts and needs even defending myself and claiming my rights) then I met that better guy around three years ago after two failed relationships (I never really experienced a close relationship with my exes) and we fell in love quickly. Then he told me struggles with severe depression and OCD and I accepted him and I knew that relationship would be a long-distance one as well! and I was okay with that since I had enough patience especially since I saw him as a person with a unique personality. As you know, LDR is not easy no matter how you two are healthy and loyal, and we faced a lot of challenges since the beginning but communication was always key even during arguments we've had, and he would tell me that I am someone to love and cherish and asked me to let him know about anything I could be uncomfortable with (I have experienced s**ual harassment by a someone older when I was a teen), and he would show me his love in various sweet ways despite his issues. It has been around two years since we started having physical things including sending n*des and it always was under my consentement, he would show me so much affection and admiration which is amazing. As time goes by, we faced a lot of problems because of what we lacked as one of the effects of the long-distance, something that wouldn't help him mentally adding to it the pressure he's having at his job (he works over eight hours a day just to let you know) so he became more into the physical side of the relationship. I just started to feel "not okay" with it but I am being hesitant to say no, so I end up saying yes and do it while I try to hide any expression of rejection or something because I'm afraid he'd sleep frustrated or anything worse -who knows- like watching porn even though we both are against it, plus I miss the love he loved me before getting to see my body. On the other hand, I really hate that coward side of me that prevents me to live with more self-respect and peace of mind... I don’t want to act rudely and neglect this kind of need of his but my uncomfortable feeling is getting stronger the more often he is asking for these things. Please help! I don't want to be fake with myself and anyone else, and mostly not hurt him.
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