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patientSea2202
5 198 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupTeen Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceDecember 8, 2024
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The empty barrel (Diary(
Trauma Support / by patientSea2202
Last post
 4 hours ago
...See more I wake up every morning and do my morning things. Brush my teeth, shower, make my bed, eat breakfast and move on with my day. Or at least, the day of the body I inhabit. The body that was once mine. The body that is now nothing but an empty barrel, a tragic reminder of the girl I used to be. Every other day, I try to convince myself that it wasn't what it is. RAPE!. I try to erase the past and grow up fast. To kill all the pain and choose a different lane. Fighting to live another day, spreading my wings and reaching for the sky. But I'm forever confined by the chains of the past. All the people in my life blame me for every wrong step I take. If only they would guide me so I wouldn't fall again. I roan your streets desperate to find a way out of this misery. Desperate for fresh air, for a saviour, for a hand to hold. But happiness never once came knocking at my door. I said maybe I should paint my wrist red and take a nap forever, but I couldn't because then momma would be sad. She'd break if she ever lost her little princess. The same little princess she doesn't know she'd already lost. My abusers are now six feet under, but does it even matter at this point? At least they got to live until they were old and gray. My life on the other hand, started when I was zero and ended when I was nine. Now I'm 17. I'm nothing but an empty barrel. Needed a space to bleed for a few minutes :)
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