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otad12
1 368 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts26 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2021 Member sinceMay 18, 2021
Recent forum posts
Friend gave me mixed messages during friendship & then betrayed me
Relationship Stress / by otad12
Last post
June 14th, 2021
...See more In October, my twin sister started bullying me online & encouraging strangers to join in. She has a WHOLE cult of flying monkeys, dedicated to destroying me. This guy reached out to me during my most vulnerable moment, & began an online friendship with me. He used to take the time out to give me emotional support. He would always tell me that I'm his favorite. We would be on the phone for hours every day. He even defended me against my twin sister. He used to go to bat for me. He used to check up on me to see if I was ok. We both used to talk about family abuse & other types of craziness going on in the world. He used to support my YouTube videos & even watch the long ones. Then he started to subliminally call me fake, saying that my videos were too long. & he stopped watching my videos. He used to encourage me to tell my truth about my narcissistic abuse for healing, now he thinks I deserve to be hurt & should stay off the internet & have no friends or support. He thinks I'm weak. Then, he got hit by a car & nearly died. I was the 1st person he called. He felt hurt that nobody else cared or felt any compassion for what happened to him. I was the only 1 there for him. There was a point in time where he was the only 1 there for me as a friend. We're both Christians. Then, 2 other girls came in our circle, & he didn't know who to blame, accusing people of doing witchcraft on him. 1 girl was doing tarot cards. I didn't know she was into that. It seems like she was jealous of me being friends with him, & wanted him all to herself. He forgave these 2 girls he felt offended him, & even family members whom he says did him very dirty, trying to have him ritually sacrificed. I never got into an altercation or disagreement with this guy, & then he started giving me the silent treatment. Even after his car assault, he still was being supportive of me & talking to me. He even helped me out financially a few times. I sent him a care package. He started to act like a religious narcissist. He did a YouTube video, talking about how he forgave the people whom he says purposely hit him with the car. He just randomly 1 day stopped talking to me, & I thought he turned against me for no reason. He would go 8 days at a time, without talking to me, & I would have panic attacks, wondering what I did wrong. It seemed like a covert "punishment" for no reason, with him secretly pulling away the rug of emotional support. Then he would lie to me & say, "It's not you". He kept lying & giving me mixed messages. I confronted him about my noticing that he changed & started acting different. Not because of him getting hit by a car, but ever since that other girl came in the picture. Then, 1 day, he did a rude, abusive, insensitive YouTube video about me, without mentioning my name. Calling me an "infection" & falsely accused me of playing the victim about my family abuse, saying that I should just get over it. Then, he used the Bible. I called him & cried. He lied & said that that video wasn't directed at me. Our so-called friendship wasn't the same anymore, yet he led me on to think we were still friends. When online bullies set me up to get fired from my job, he unusually got mad at me & blamed me. He just started increasingly acting different towards me & changing his opinions about me. He falsely accused ME of doing witchcraft on him. He acted like he suspected that EVERYONE was doing witchcraft on him. I don't know any witchcraft rituals. Then, he started comparing me to his ex-wife. He started being subtle with admitting that that video WAS about me. He even complained to me, saying that his sister called him 2-faced & fake. I know I'm emotionally hypersensitive & haven't been able to get over past trauma, & he recently started shunning me for it. He went to Illinois by a lady for 2 weeks & complained to me about her, the whole time he was there. He still acted merciful & forgiving towards her. He got into an altercation with his twin brother, but then falsely accused me of being full of drama, when I told him about my feuding with my twin sister. He recently got mad, saying that everybody is fake, & that he was going to cut everybody off, except me. I was venting on Twitter & said that everyone was being fake, & then he got mad & said that he thought those tweets were directed at him. I told him it wasn't, & it wasn't. He must've had a guilty conscience. Our last conversation, he said some very hurtful things that were polar opposite of what he led me on to think for nearly 7 months of our friendship. I realize that that video WAS about me & then got angry & blocked all contact with him. We both had a rough 2 weeks last month & never got into an argument or altercation before, even though he said a few things that hurt my feelings. I'm amazed @ by this ONE incident, he acts like he's DONE with me & has NOTHING to say to me, like I "deserve" to be punished. He blocked me back. I tried to reconcile with him. His words are so harsh that they're lethal & could drive a person to suicide, & he doesn't care. I'm not feeling like I want to do any harm to myself. I'm just saying how harsh he is. I've already been spiritually abused before, including being in a cult. I told him about that. Seems like he used what I said against me, & acted out what my other abusers have done to me. He's 8 years younger than me. I feel like I'm trying to avoid getting frustrated & backsliding as a Christian. I don't want to offend God. I feel like I have no emotional support. I have more that I wish to say, but I don't want to take up too much time. Thanks for reading & any feedback/advice, & I'm sorry if this post is too long.
Struggling with healing from trauma & abuse
Trauma Support / by otad12
Last post
May 26th, 2021
...See more Hello. My name is Candy. I'm new here. I'm a 37-year old single homeless disabled female. The former foster mother abused us & put us in a cult. There are some things I wish I could talk about on here. Everyone I try to turn to shuns me. They think I'm trying to seeking pity, attention, drama & money whenever I try to reach out for emotional support, & that's not true. I'm just trying to survive day to day. I'm blacklisted from employment. People don't want to allow me to work. I get bullied, stalked, spied on & harassed by society. The foster mom put me in the program. So many lies & smear campaigns. This cult is trying everything they can, to drive me to suicide, but I keep fighting to stay alive. People younger than me think they can disrespect me because they perceive of me as childish, when I'm not trying to be. I was diagnosed as Pervasive Developmental Disorder-NOS in kindergarten, but it was ruled out. I had 2 strokes @ age 5, a few surgeries throughout childhood, etc. The foster mom brainwashed me & my twin sister to not get along, & now my twin sister is very abusive, hostile, vicious & unmerciful towards me. I'm here for emotional support & advice.
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