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oliveSquare769
1,657 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts110 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceAugust 30, 2021
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Afraid.. worried.. am I walking into danger again ..
35 & Over Community / by oliveSquare769
Last post
 September 25th, 2022
...See more How do I know if my partner is really cynical and mad .... we were together for 7 years. Found a business together . And finally built a home together. I only stayed for 5 months in our new house and had to run away in fear twice because not only he would be physically abusive to me but he became physically abuse to our puppy of 6 months old. 2 month after getting together with my partner he had woke up in the middle of the night threatening to kill me ..I had to run away climbing out his bedroom window to his parents room. his parents convinced me that their son was just upset and he apologizes and cried and say it will not happened again. He was upset because he read a flirt msg I wrote to a guy 5 months before I even met him. I dont know what convinced me to give this rs another try but I did. We started a small business together eventually. Make some of money together. Travelled many times a year. But In all that theres many nights he would wake and nudge me or throw tantrum or push me around in the room when he is upset at me. He would drive like a mad man because I pissed him off and many times he would twist my arms and doesnt stop even when I'm crying in pain all because I commented on his driving or on minor things. He would go on to say that I made him upset by commenting on things unnecessarily. He dragged me around in hotel rooms before. Dragged me in his family home when no one was home. He would sometimes nudge me while I'm asleep and when I open my eyes I see him smileing like a clown in the dark... and he goes back to sleep. When I confronts him he say he did not wake me and got pissed why I wake him instead. I scared and paranoid. I had shivers many nights beside him. Everytime the next morning he would wake up a different person very nice and apologetic. Until it happens again a few days later. He was also taking care of me and our business well on good times. Things were good. But not always. I ran away from our house 1.5 years ago and had been staying in a rented house with our dog .. but we still meet up everyday he would come and find me and bring me for dinner. And go out together with our dog. He convinces me that he too want to be a better person that he recognized it his mistakes. But sometimes when we are out I could hear dog make sounds like he is hurt when he carries him. Sometimes he would be open at how he felt it was all the dogs fault that causes us to argue. I left and ran away with our dog because my partner started to hurt our dog at 6 mths old. Choke him. Force him to stay awake. Swing him really hard until he shouted when I'm apart from it. I felt it was torture for our puppy. It started off with him very loving towards our dog and turned into such evil treatment towards our puppy. I felt he is being inhumane. He felt I've place the dog above our heads. That I cared too much and spoiled him. It had pisses him off. And each time I did or say something that hurt my partner emotionally he would somehow do evil physically abusive things. The place I've rented is expiring in 2 days. I've discuss with my partner to move back to my house while he moves back to his parents. He kept saying he wants to change and be better. Initially he say he is doing it even if we wont be back together. But now the closer I am to moving back. He kept repeated tell me he wants to reconcile. Which I said I dont want to. He on and off would agree and disagree that it's ok if we cant be back together. He still wants to prove he can be a better person. But we had an arguement on minor issue earlier today. And he gave me the same look of forceful order. That he want to be back together. And it scares me. Am I putting me and my dog in danger again by giving him a chance to prove he is a better person by letting us stay back in the house while he move back with his parents. Am I just being reckless with this decision. My parents didnt approve of me moving back. But ultimately it's my decision. Not only it is financially better but I never got to stay in this house. my first house ive dreamed of owning. And I've my dog with me which I love dearly. Renting again makes me feel like after all these years of hard work. I'm running around like homeless. And afraid landlord may complain of me having pets. I'm 36. I wish I know better. My partner manages all the finances of our business and our assets. I hate to think I've been dependant but I have been. I hate to think that i caused him to be physically and mentally abusive. Because of my poor attitude. I hope to be able to stay in our house and hopefully meet with someone and be able to move on from there. Am I just painting the best picture for myself and not realising that maybe it's a trap to be back in our house. That he may go crazy again and lock me and my dog up while he go mad and hurt our dog again. And threaten to hurt my family if I leaves. Or is trusting he will be a better person just naive...?
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