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ohAlexx
18,848 M Progress Road 7
PathStep 50 Compassion hearts316 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2015 Member sinceJuly 7, 2015
Recent forum posts
My past, and how it has scarred me forever.
Trauma Support / by ohAlexx
Last post
 July 18th, 2015
...See more Hey, my name is Alex and i am 16 years old. Im going to try to keep this short and sweet, if i can even finish writing this without deleting it and starting again. When i was 6, my parents split, no big deal, except that i had hatred at my dad for abandoning me. I was left with my three brothers and my 'mom'. Fast forward till it started getting bad, i was 12/ and id been dealing with my mom being drunk every night and embarrassing me when i had friends over because she couldnt even walk. It got to the point that she hit me once, and im sure i deserved it, although i cant rmember because she gave me a bloody nose, black eyes, and i blacked out. We talked about it after and said it would not happen. And it didnt, for a while. She met this asshole named Mike, aka my step dad. you know those poeple who act good in front of others but end up being bad when noone is looking? I know one time, he held me up against the wall, and lifted me by my neck, and choked me while my mom was to drunk to care. and he spanked me when i was 14, with his bare hands, and he would pull my pants and boxers down. anyways. besideds that incident, one night, he and my mom were teaming up against me, so i took my moms ohone and a pen; for safety. He chased after me, and i was just trying to call my aunt to get me. So he tackles me to the ground, and holds me in a choke hold until the police come. Guess who goes to jail for 4 nights? Me, thats right, me. and well, now he is gone, but my mom is even worse with drinking and now she does pot. But theres more. My older brother, one night, decided i was asleep, so he snuck onto my bed, and pulled my pants down, he touched me, and then turned me over and tried doing other things. i was too scared to move, so i had to stay away, and wonder what was gioing to happen by the second. I told my mom, and she said it was normal for a teenage boy to experiment, so i said okay. I ended up tell ing one of the consolers at this residental facility i got admitted to after attempting suicide. So CPS got involved, and now my whole family gives me guilt and are like why did you say anything and all that. Almost done venting haha. I forgive my brother, and im still scared to sleep in the same house. I dont know what causes my anxiety, but i cant even go to school, walk on the street, or anything! Im with my real dad now, and its alot better, but my anxiety is soo bad and i still self harm every day. Plaease, someone help before i end my life forever. I dont want to.
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