nightflowerw Member Profile

...See more When I was a teenager I realized that I suffered from anxiety. It wasn't necessarily social, I had friends and I loved to be involved in clubs and activities. When I would perform on stage I would usually run to the bathroom, and have to talk myself up to be able to go out on stage. When I would go to take a test, my mind would go blank and even though I would study and know the material I would "freak out" and I would have to take major deep breaths and give myself a mental peptalk in order to start the exam. I WAS ALWAYS ABLE TO MANAGE. ANXIETY NEVER GOT THE BEST OF ME! As a young adult, I started to notice my anxiety getting worse. I sought out therapy while I was in college and started to learn coping techniques. I managed for a few years, but then the stress of adulthood took a toll and I broke. Daily panic attacks would wipe me out physically and emotionally. My husband, my biggest support, would help me through. It would get so bad that I would blank out, short out, whatever you want to call it. I knew that there was a much bigger problem. I decided to put myself in the hospital. That was just a first step. It was a difficult step because at that point in my life I was completely house bound. I was too afraid to go out. I underwent years of therapy, little by little my confidence was building. I started going shopping, my husband would take me a night when I felt the most comfortable. As my confidence was built I would start going earlier and earlier until I could go during the day. I always had a plan. I understood that if I had a panic attack I always had a way out. I was never trapped, and that I would be ok. THAT'S RIGHT...YOU WILL ALWAYS BE OK. I was finally able to manage myself well, slowly but surely I regained my independence and I didn't ever want to look back. I asked to be weaned off the medication, and I found that I had the tools to handle whatever came my way. Fast forward to 7 months ago.... I had no idea that stress that builds up, and has no outlet can cause such a reoccurance of panic and anxiety. It hit me one night while out to dinner with the family. I thought I was dying, I called for an ambulance, scared and confused I thought that there was something physically wrong with me. Come to find out...Panic Attack. I felt the biggest surge of discouragement ever. I had the tools to cope right? Well I did, but that didn't seem to make it any easier. I was given a physical, a good once or twice over by my doctor and was told that I am physically healthy and that my panic was rearing it's ugly head. I was prescribed medication and I had to figure this out. I sought out therapy again, and it has been a dreadfully slow process, so I started to look online to see how to manage. It has been about a month now, and I finally have come to the realization that EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT! I no longer wake up and immediately panic, IT GETS EASIER. I remind myself that God is with me and he will help carry my burdens. It is only a matter of time before I can live panic free. LIVE WITH HOPE. LIVE WITH FAITH. I really pray that by sharing my story I can help YOU feel the comfort of knowing that THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Hugs and Love, Night

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