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niceScarf143
40,913 M Crossing Mileposts 1
PathStep 148 Compassion hearts847 Forum posts61 Forum upvotes59 Current upvotes59 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 28, 2015
Bio
I'm loud, outgoing, newly minted 30's lady who constantly loves to live it up-all in a petite frame. Art and cooking are my therapy, Sushi is my kryptonite, Tater Tots are my weakness, and I dream of the day I will have my own little Frenchie to call my own. Despite all of that, I'm learning to take it one day at a time, and not let the past and Anxiety define me. I strongly believe that a support system is crucial to getting through in life, and I fully believe in the message this place has to offer.
Recent forum posts
Depression affecting a loved one
Depression Support / by niceScarf143
Last post
 December 10th, 2016
...See more Hello Everyone, I'll try to get through this without breaking down. My significant other has depression that's been pretty much affected his life, and after several year of suppressing it, it's out full force. The initial breakup and attempted reconciliation due to DUI we spent more than a year on, and he still was ignoring the heed of seeking his own counseling. He still brushed it up, by the mood swings and things he'd say we're becoming fire hurtful. It came to the point where he blurted out he cheated on me during the initial break, and everything just came crashing down. The love between us is very strong, but to see him spiraling down FAST is hurting. After my serious car accident (a week exactly later might I add), he's had a partial wake up call and has finally narrowed it down after a month of narrowing a pool down-with breakdowns and panic attacks in between. I want to be to be there for him, but of course within my own limits. We're now at the waiting game of hearing back from the other choice, and he gets gruff and upset when the topic of speaking about getting help overwhelms him, and it hurts me to see it. As someone diagnosed with Anxiety, I do understand those feelings well, but he flat out refuses to talk about it for the time being, as he just wants to breathe and enjoy for now until the last potential therapist calls back. How do I be there? I want to support him, but I know my boundaries. I know when he talks in angry outbursts sometimes, it's not truly him. If thought about just letting him be, but he made it clear how grateful he is that I'm there to help. His friends and family abandoned him and think he's just a loser. 😞 I'm sorry for rambling on...I wish there was a forum that talks about this. Any support or words of wisdom is helpful.
Being there for someone with Depression...any help welcome
Depression Support / by niceScarf143
Last post
 January 10th, 2016
...See more Hello, This is my first time EVER posting in a forum, but I'm trying to learn that it's OKAY to seek help, so here goes nothing.... I was in a relationship for almost 5 years. They were mostly wonderful, but when the stagnancy kicked in, so did the health of it. He was always the knight in shining armor. Always took care of me, and bent over backwards over others. There were many times I always asked him, "What about you?", and he'd replied, "As long as your happy, I'm happy too." He was a social drinker that would never be aware of his limits, especially his friends. We fought over this-me over his safety, him telling me that I should loosen up and trust him. He eventually got a DUI, and it affected him It was around this time I saw the once happy, sweet, caring guy, slip away. He got irritable, looked miserable at times, but still didn't want to share. It was taking a toll, I Knew something was wrong, but too comfortable to say something. Finally, it all blew over. A month before our anniversary, he announced how he found a place to move in ASAP, since he never had the experience before. He went on how he feels embarrassed and ashamed how he feels like there's a lot of things he didn't accomplished in life, and hated himself. It blew over, and it was then I found out that night he got a DUI, he cheated on me. My world was broken. Over time we talked (and still do), and figure out ourselves, and then to each other. He kept talking about having a "dark cloud" always lingering, his head always in untangled Christmas lights, but acted a facade that everything was A OK. I knew it's not. His friends knew something was up, but he doesn't want to open up. He tried to initially see a counselor, but he didn't click with him, and the counselor thought nothing was wrong, and kept sliding him down in frequency to the point where it's been a couple of months since he went in. It got to the point where I roped in couples counseling, after he blurted out to me that he has depression, and harbored it for so long because He feels like a burden to everyone. I've seen his panic/depressive episodes come out, and I try really hard not to let it get it me: when it happens, he questions what if our work in couples counseling will fail, if he'll ever feel okay or himself again, not sure if he'll ever get back to the man he used to be more me because of what he did to me, how he hates himself and will never forgive himself, doesn't know what he wants to do with his life...it's all too much. I want to be there for him as best as I can, while remembering my own limits and self care first (I'm in weekly counseling myself with anxiety issues). He finally acknowledged that its affected his daily life, and has reached out to a few potential new therapists. Any advice would be helpful.....he said several times when these panic outbursts happen he doesn't want to lose me but feels stuck....I'm trying to be there for him while managing my Anxiety. I apologize for the long winded post, but anything would help at this point.....
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