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navyCake5369
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PathStep 5 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2018 Member sinceJuly 23, 2018
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Anxiety, previous self harm and relationships
Anxiety Support / by navyCake5369
Last post
 January 14th
...See more Hello everyone, I'm looking for a bit of support/advice I'm in my mid-twenties and a few years ago I had bad anxiety (mislabelled at the time as depression) and also was addicted to self harm. There was a period of time where I felt this way for weeks on end and was self medicating with alcohol and self-harming regularly. About three years ago I met my previous girlfriend, and it resulted in quite a toxic relationship as a result of my behaviour and mental health, and also hers. We broke up and I moved into my own flat by myself. This was perhaps not ideal as I was far away from my family and friends. But regardless I worked on my mental health, I had a job and I felt in an okay place. I was not happy but I was not awful as I had been previously. It got to a point where I reduced my selfharming behaviour and down to one every 2/3 months. I was having anxiety attacked about once a month so this had also reduced greatly. I then moved back to home and moved in with my parents, who have always been a safety blanket to me. Unfortunatly they affect me badly in other ways, it is difficult to maintain my independance and my mother requires quite a lot of looking out for which she pushes onto me when I am around. So this is bad for the anxiety, but due to my knowledge and the safety of my home, the self-harm stopped completely. A few months ago I met my current girlfriend who is very understanding and who I am very happy with. Two weeks ago I moved out of my parents and as a result lost the "home" safety blanket. As a result I've had several anxiety attacks and the urge to self harm has come back. My girlfriend (who also has anxiety) has said she is there to support me, but I cannot rely on her too heavily as this impacts her mental health. If I am having an episode then this negatively impacts her. Up until this point this hasn't been an issue as we have been very happy - we have amazing days out, we get on really well, and I can really see a future with her (if it wasn't for this mental health problem). I need to find other coping mechanisms for this, and ways to sooth myself and looking for advice in this. a) I don't like to be alone as this is previously when I self harmed so I am afraid to leave the room which makes this worse as I also trigger my girlfriends anxiety. b) I don't want to loose my independance and move back to my parents again. c) I am determined to face this head on and deal with this I just need some coping techniques going forward that fit in with my life and that are not destructive to me or the people around me. I don't want to be reliant on other people. Please help :(
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