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mtndewluvr
397 M Embraced 3
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts33 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2017 Member sinceApril 26, 2015
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How do I let go? Or should I even let go?
Relationship Stress / by mtndewluvr
Last post
 July 11th, 2015
...See more So its kinda complicated but I'll try to make it brief. About a year ago I finally broke up with my ex. We were together for a year and a half, during that time i talked him down from trying to kill himself countless times. Every once in a while he would hurt himself but he would never actually try to kill himself. I now know that this was for attention or because he was mentally unstable but for me this made me but my own depression and anxiety and all of my problems aside all of the time. I was not allowed to be hurt by any of this because he would guilt trip me by trying to kill himself again. It was a vicious cycle that only ended with the help of others. But in the process of ending it I had to drop everything at random times for several days to make sure he wouldnt kill himself. At one point he even locked himself in the car and filled it up with cigarette smoke and started cutting himself as I tried to break in but was helpless to do so. But away I missed several days of school because of this and it was quite a burden and nightmare for me to be so frightened for so long that it was my job to try to keep him alive. But now a year later I have only talked to him a few times since we broke up but I was keeping tabs on him on facebook but recently he blocked me and I dont really know of any way to contact him. I don't need to contact him but I feel like my mind would stop worrying if I knew that he wasn't dead. So I guess im wondering should I just forget about him and stop worrying? and if so how do I do that? Or is it ok that I'm worrying?
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