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minbuckeye
1 771 M Little Steps
PathStep 30 Compassion hearts148 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes22 Current upvotes22 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceDecember 24, 2024
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Possibly Raising an Infant
50 & Over Community / by minbuckeye
Last post
 January 2nd
...See more About 8 months ago, I started a casual relationship with a woman, we'll call he lr AB. She is 30, i am 50. She reached out to me on a dating app, said she liked older men, was expecting a child in a few months, was not looking for a father for her child, was not interested in traditional dating simply wanted someone to spend time with, have regular sex, and have a little bit of care and connection. We met for lunch and started getting to know each other. We found we enjoyed each other's company and were similar personalities. It was easy and we saw each other regularly. She had her daughter in late August. She was in the NICU for a time and I went with AB to the hospital to meet the baby, we'll call her E. I knew going in that the baby would change things, but I also knew that I love babies and am very good with them. I found that I was able to help her with the adjustment and with learning how to deal with an Infant. AB trusts me with E and I have even come and taken her for a day when the nanny canceled. Over the last 8 months of our relationship, our connection has deepened and we have both realized we love each other. I'm at a point where I am considering a future with her. We've discussed moving in together. Before I give a lot of consideration to that, I am reaching out here for advice from people in my stage of life. My two daughters are grown. The youngest is about to finish college. I am reaching that stage of life where I am a parent of adult children who are free to make their own decisions and life choices. They are in the road to independence. I know you never really stop being a parent, but the change means my responsibilities relative to them are different. Now, I have this situation that I did not anticipate. I believe I love AB and E. But, am I ready to start down that road again from the beginning. I will be in my 70s before I reach this point again. We wouldn't have any other kids because I had myself fixed 20 years ago, but I have 20 or so years ahead of me to live life. To do things I've put on hold for years to raise my kids. And is it best for AB and E to potentially have to deal with what health issues I may have as I grow older? Do I have the energy to be.a full time parent to a toddler or young child? If I commit to this, I would love and raise E as though she were my own. The biological father is not in the picture. Wants nothing to do.with her. Am I being selfish for having these thoughts? I am processing so much and I would appreciate some counsel.
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Seeing My GF for the First Time Since our First Fight
Relationship Stress / by minbuckeye
Last post
 December 26th, 2024
...See more We had a fight on Monday. I unintentionally made a thoughtless remark and she was furious. I immediately apologized, but we had to part without things being settled. We were apart for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. We texted some and she said we are fine, but I can't help not being nervous. We've been together 7 months and only had a couple of minor disagreements. This time, she flipped out. It's been ruminating in my head the whole time. Every scenario I could think of. She says we're OK, but OK doesn't necessarily mean good. She hasn't expressed forgiveness. I'm uncertain and nervous. I haven't slept much since. I don't know that I need anything from this group. I just needed to get this out to people who I know would understand. Thanks
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