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memyselfandmoth
48,037 M Crossing Mileposts 8
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts5,494 Forum posts87 Forum upvotes123 Current upvotes123 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 18, 2023
Bio
  • straight up loon
  • what are ya- yob or wanker?
  • i see rain in rothko paintings
  • seeing damien hirst's 'The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living' and 'For the Love of God' made me a hipster snob
  • i draw. i sometimes paint, when i can be bothered.
  • i write... stuff.
  • tell me you've seen the seventh seal and i'm all yours
  • fresh fields by peter kocan made me a 'highly sensitive person'.... also my 'past.'..
  • i read, read, read. *for my 'brain'*
  • i will watch primer anytime, anywhere. that's a promise.
  • brian jonestown massacre, dandy warhols, (yes, the smiths,) the cure and nirvana wrecked me for life.
  • the only game i play is trying to convince myself of loony-tune shiz my brain sparks up. 
  • i'm 'disabled.' i'm 'sick.'  (Childhood? What's that?) 
  • i'm awesome. 
  • i'm terrible.
  • aren't we all?
  • so what are ya, yob or wanker?
  • *grippy sock vacation verified 
Recent forum posts
Question.. hoping someone can provide some insight for me. ((cw:restriction/binge questions))
Eating Disorder Support / by memyselfandmoth
Last post
 July 26th, 2023
...See more Hi, I'm wondering if anyone can tell me some of the early signs of restrictive patterns/possible binge patterns. I've been losing weight, which is important for my health disorders... but, I don't know, it's almost becoming hard for me to eat now.. like I just do not enjoy it in any sense anymore and, it's not coming from a depressed place... It's.. I don't know how to feel. I do still eat, but probably not enough, and then I'll eat more at a time than I should.. and I know that doesn't sound too great, but, I'm very sedentary also due to my health conditions, so it is important that I try not to eat too much.. I'm just kind of asking for a check in. I guess I'm wondering what are the big red flags to look out for?
It Hurts to Think About my Sexuality
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by memyselfandmoth
Last post
 March 20th, 2023
...See more So, I've posted once here before already & would like to thank the cups community for being kind when I did. I am glad this site exists so that people can talk openly and support one another. So, things are not good and have not been good for a long time. I have had a very painful life, for me, and feel that I never really have been given a break from stress and complicated, drawn-out situations that leave me feeling so, so drained, like I've been visited by Dracula. One aspect of my life that follows this trend is my sexuality. I find it very hard to think about it deeply, or to, I guess, ascribe a label to it. I think a lot of that is because as I was growing up, no one talked about lesbians or bisexual people or gay people, trans people, nothing. I really didn't know much about it, other than that there was a classmate of mine who had two moms. I remember thinking that was pretty fascinating. I feel a great sense of shame in my sexuality. I think that is because my father, who was very abusive to me, would go through my diaries and computer to keep tabs on what I was doing and thinking. After reading a story I wrote about two girls in love, he began to use my sexuality against me, mocking me, joking at me for it, he made me feel gross and like it was wrong. I took that deeply to heart and, though I now know that is far from the truth - that love/sex is wonderful as long as its between two adults who respect each other, I feel it doesn't apply to me. I often feel like I hate myself. How do I purge this from me? I have not interacted with the LGBTQ+ community in my area. I know I probably should one day but I am petrified. I don't know why. I just feel so scared to do anything like that, especially with my extenuating circumstances. If you want to know about that I've made another post in this forum w/ further details. I'm just posting to hear some feedback, maybe some rays of sunshine, just someone to talk to who might really understand. Thanks for reading this long post. -----moth
What’s a Song that Makes You Feel Empowered Today?
Music & Dance / by memyselfandmoth
Last post
 March 5th, 2023
...See more What’s a song that makes you feel validated today? 🤘
From the Heart
Hobby Zone / by memyselfandmoth
Last post
 December 28th, 2023
...See more [trigger warning: anatomical heart image linked] Hi all. I am still new here but thought I would share regarding art as therapy and encourage others with a post. I have been in a very hard place recently but was able to do some drawing and was glad that I could find a way to express how my heart’s been feeling. I thought I might post it here and also encourage others if they feel so inclined to respond with a drawing or other artistic way of showing where their heart’s at… whether it be a literal heart or more figurative. If not, then thanks for reading anyway and wishing you the best
Hi. New to this.
General Support / by memyselfandmoth
Last post
 February 20th, 2023
...See more Hi. Don’t know much about 7cups but I thought oh well. I am really sick of social media but I guess I’ll try a couple more before I give up for good. I’m in a pretty bad place. Just sad. My life has been pretty crazy. I know everyone struggles and that some have it worse but between my trauma and mental and physical illnesses I am just feeling at a loss. I feel I have been trying so hard to make things work and I just keep getting reminded that that’s not how it works. So I’m letting go for a bit. I’m treating myself well. I’m ok. I’m not in crisis. I have a great therapist and good doctors. But I feel so alone. I feel truly, truly alone. I have no friends. And my family let me down greatly in a way I never saw coming that has shocked me. I feel like there’s a hole inside me that’s just growing more and more as I try to care less and less. :(
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