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memelord500
17,552 M Progress Road 5
PathStep 46 Compassion hearts1,664 Forum posts107 Forum upvotes146 Current upvotes146 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2020 Member sinceAugust 4, 2020
Bio
Hello, nice to meet you! I'm meme, or lord, whichever is fine by me. I have a mishmash of problems: depression, recovering from self harm and not to mention the barrage of low self esteem, self hatred etc.
I am an introvert and I love reading, writing, painting and drawing! I love tea, I'm basically an addict and I am a definite coffee addict
Recent forum posts
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Can it all stop?
Depression Support / by memelord500
Last post
 September 17th, 2020
...See more Hi to anyone reading this. I don't even know if anyone will. Jeez it's taking me ages to type this. I need to know that someone is feeling the way I do. I've got so little energy. I'm so tired. So fucking tired, I can't even explain, no one understands how tired I am. I want everything to stop. The amount of I's in this is ridiculous, it's so selfish. So self absorbed. But hey that's me. Just some self absorbed mess who can't even be consistent. I couldn't remember that word. I can't remember things. I can't focus. I can't do anything, but of course I do things, but nothing right or well because I'm so goddamn tired. I keep getting angry. And overwhelmed. And I just want to get away but I *can't* and I need to. I don't even want to live but I'd cause more trouble trying to die, so that's out. But I'm so blank. Why. Why am I blank and lifeless and tired or angry and upset and overwhelmed and needing it all to stop. Why can't I be normal. But I'm stuck this way. That's my reality. For the rest of my life I will be this broken mess, not really loved. Not really wanted. Just useless. God and this whole post is just attention seeking isn't it. But of course I'm going to post it because I'm a horrible person. And even that sounds attention seeking. Just. Please. Please someone say I'm not alone in this. Please.
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Intro!
Self-Harm Recovery / by memelord500
Last post
 August 15th, 2020
...See more TW// self harm Hello, my username is memelord and either meme or lord is fine, I have no preference. So I'm relatively new here, it's taking me a while to get around to introducing myself on all the forums relevant to me (which is a surprising amount haha) but here I am! Been self harming since 13, am 17 now. Was clean for almost a year up until a few months ago when I had a bit of a breakdown and well, self harmed. I'm still struggling now and even though I'm trying to stop, I still can't seem too, and the urges, oml, the urges! Like, dude, it's sucky, right? Haha, so yeah, little bit about me: I'm an introvert, I love Hamilton, tea, coffee and huggles with people I have a deep emotional connection with. My hobbies are drawing, painting, singing, writing and reading, so much reading haha. Nice to meet you!
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Any tips for ignoring that voice?
Eating Disorder Support / by memelord500
Last post
 September 11th, 2020
...See more Hello all. I'm new here, so good to meet you all. I've been struggling again lately. I had issues with what seems to be an ED for a good few years, almost three, but I seemed to be better. I thought I was better. I mean, I didn't like my body any more than I did, or accept myself but I realised that I needed help and I needed to stop, so I got better somehow, without seeking help from professionals or adults or whatever. But lately, for the past few months, I've been exercising again in secret. And I've been exercising openly too. And I've been going on hikes. Over exercising a little bit. And I've been pinching and pulling and obsessing over my weight again. And I can't get the thought that things would be so much easier if I just....didn't eat. And the thought that I've gained weight and that I need to be thinner, always thinner. And I've been skipping meals again, fasting and then binging, although that's only on bad days. The binging not the fasting, I do that every day. I used to use good as a coping mechanism you see haha. And some days I can't find the energy to exercise, depression am I right lol, and everything seems meaningless. So I'm wondering if anyone has any tips for helping to ignore that voice? The thoughts? Thanks 😊
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Hello everyone
Depression Support / by memelord500
Last post
 August 8th, 2020
...See more Hello everyone, memelord here. I don't really know if this is how I'm supposed to introduce myself but I can't a monthly intro for August yet, so this will have to do. I don't know if I have depression really. I mean, I've never been diagnosed with anything, and I feel like I'm lesser for not knowing, or supposing, guessing what's wrong with me I guess. Was depressed for two years straight, got better somehow, and now it seems to be back, for a few weeks now. Feelings and symptoms of depression anyway. Erm, anyway, little bit about me: I like reading, drawing, painting and writing, well I used to lol, nothing's holding my interest lately. Almost a tea addict, definite coffee addict and food lover who doesn't like to eat, yes yes I know, weird. Pretty stubborn, "keep it all in family and repress till you die or cry" kind of family so I'm glad to have found 7cups! Having a good time so far, not getting better yet, but it's only been a few days yet. So yeah! That's me. Nice to meet you all.
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Diary Entries......?
Journals & Diaries / by memelord500
Last post
 August 21st, 2020
...See more I'm new here. It's only my second day on this, well I'm using the app, so app. I don't really know how any of this works.... But! I'm learning and getting the hang of things. I've already met some super cool people. I've got issues that probably aren't even issues to be honest. Nothing diagnosed, just a lot of small things. Struggle with disordered eating, whoooole lot of self esteem issues, depression, self harm. Just hoping to get the small stuff under control and manage my emotions and I guess I'll document that here? Okay then! I have no idea if this is what this whole diary entries and connections thing is for, but I've committed now, so full steam ahead I guess lol
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