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mayarwen
1 9,805 M Pacing Forward 2
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts1,226 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceAugust 28, 2018
Bio
Damaged goods with debilitating insecurity and low self-image issues .
Recent forum posts
Is relationship without physical attraction work?
Relationship Stress / by mayarwen
Last post
 July 6th, 2023
...See more I’ve been in relationship for 7 years with a guy (let’s call him J). It started from online through a karaoke app, so not dating app. We started as karaoke buddy and then moved to talk and FaceTime. We started as friends and into situationship. In 2020 he told me that he loves me and that he wanted to pursue this relationship. It takes so many years for us to meet because he went back to school, get a degree, proceeded to get a teaching license for English abroad. Finally this year on March 2023 he moved to my country though unfortunately we still live in different cities. But, when we finally met and hang out, it wasn’t as I expected. While he’s treating me nicely and we had fun because basically we’re best friends to each other, he kept distance. He never hold my hands or anything. He did kiss my cheek once and I found out later that he did that to check if he feel something, that “spark”. He told me he didn’t feel it and that he doesn’t have physical attraction to me. But he loves me so much because I have so much love and he loves my personality. He told me we have built something, that we have a solid good foundation of friendship and emotional bonding. Despite all of that he doesn’t want to move on and wanted us to still be an item and working on it. But the thing is I don’t think we both know how or what to do. I don’t know what to do because it hurts me so much when he told me that. I couldn’t comprehend how could someone claim that they love you but not in love at the same time. For me it’s different because when I love someone, the attraction follows. I love them beyond physical attraction, I love them for their soul. I love him because I thought he loves me because of what I am. how do I move on from that wound and try to work this out? I still love him and hopeful but I know attraction is something you can’t force. I do know he’s emotionally attracted to me but idk if he can ever grow physical attraction to me… I’m so torn and it makes me sad ever since. I don’t know what to do…
I had a relapse with self harming and don
Self-Harm Recovery / by mayarwen
Last post
 July 17th, 2019
...See more Hi, Im May. Its been more than 7 years since the last time I harmed myself. My insecurities, low self image and failing in relationships led me into depression. Im very poor at handling rejection and it made me more depressed because the feeling of being an unwanted person that I felt was just too much. Recently I had my heart broken over and over again it so painful I couldnt take it anymore. I hit myself and have been resisting to cut myself. My physical pain makes my emotional pain less painful. Now this urges didnt go away and its getting worse. Just having a relapse already shocked me and I feel so flustered right now. How do I suppress it?? Please help me...
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