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loyalTurtle8038
3 712 M Little Steps
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceApril 6, 2018
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Lost, realized I'll never be accepted by my family
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by loyalTurtle8038
Last post
 4 hours ago
...See more Realized I may never come out as bi to my family after hearing them make transphobic and homophobic jokes while drunk. I am not out in my 30s as I have an opposite sex long term partner. I visited my family recently and it was going well til they got drunk and started sprouting right wing jokes about non-binary/trans/anyone who isn't straight and calling people homophobic slurs. The energy in the room was palpable as they were daring me to say anything (earlier in the night I stupidly made an anti-Trump comment). I kept quiet as I was working on something and pretended to focus on it. I really wish I had the courage to say something but I'm partially disabled so I rely on my family to help with bills and stuff and feel like I'd be cut off if I outed myself. I eventually went to somewhere private to break down crying. They offered me to move back with them,which at first I wanted to accept but between the jokes and the next 4 years I really want to stay in my deep blue state rather than moving to a purple one. I may end up homeless but at least I'll have the last shred of my dignity that I didn't move in with bigots that treat me like a burden. I don't really know what to do,but I know my story isn't uncommon except for perhaps my age of still not being out.
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Feeling lost. Thought my family would accept me eventually but recently realized they probably won't.
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by loyalTurtle8038
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more Still not out as bi in my 30s since I'm with an opposite sex partner. Been too afraid to come out to my family as sadly I am still somewhat financially reliant on them as I'm partially disabled. I recently visited with all of my immediate family and was feeling pretty decent until they all got drunk and started making the same old tired non-binary and trans jokes, calling people qu**r, and just generally being trans/homophobic. The energy in the room was palpable that they were daring me to say something but I kept quiet. I moved across the country years ago from a purple state that has a ton of red to a deep blue state. I'm basically out of money and I had an offer to move back with my immediate family again that I almost accepted but after hearing how they really feel---and they don't have the gall to say things like this while not drunk,as if being drunk is an excuse---i don't want to move back. At this point I may be homeless but I'll keep the last of my dignity that I don't have to move in with bigots who treat me like a burden. Especially with the new president I want to stay in my deep blue state. It's expensive,as most west coast states are. But at least I feel like there's a better support system here than I'd get in other states as well. I feel like such a coward for not coming out. I feel like if I did my family would never talk to me again, which would hurt. I feel like I should have come out a decade ago but I've only accepted in bi within the last 2 years despite having hints since I hit puberty. Since I was raised super religious I squashed those feelings down. I honestly don't know what to do.
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