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lolita9824
3 1,808 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceMarch 25, 2022
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Troubled About My Friend’s Patterns with Women
Relationship Stress / by lolita9824
Last post
 December 31st
...See more I’m (F late 20s) friends with this guy (same age) since high school, we dated for a little while in much recent years but things didn’t work out. I’ve been troubled by certain aspects of his behavior with women and relationships, and am curious to hear broader perspectives. * He’d ran into a few (I mean, minor and not many) sex-related issues since high school and college. Title IX allegations and such. But to keep matters short, from what I know, these incidents weren’t rooted in malicious intent; he expressed remorse and took steps to change. He’d shared details about some of these incidents with me. * He’d had negative dating experiences and expressed bad luck with ladies, making him scared of talking to them. He had told me the ladies he met are either rude to him (making false allegations and making him really ), liar, sleep around, or lazy etc. * He cheated on his first love (also from our high school). He tried to win her back for a very long time (to this day). He reached out to her again after he broke up with me. I’ve talked to this girl. She hated him because he kept reaching out to her, and she had to block him multiple times. * He broke up with me and dated a new girl this year. Now he’s single again and he attempted to contact me again. As with his first girlfriend, he has… a rather difficult time letting go of people and moving on? * In high school (and he was friend-zoning me back then), he told me he wish he has a little sister, because he only had little brothers. He sometimes called me and a few of his female friends little sisters back then. * When we were dating, not so long ago, he told me (alongside with wanting many kids) that he specifically wants to have a daughter. * He’s religious and makes it clear he wants a married life and is loyal and honest. How do you describe this man’s pattern with women? And why is this specific desire to have a little sister or a daughter… My concern is his patterns with women and relationships seem inconsistent with his stated desire for a committed, loyal married life. I don’t know if he needs help with forming healthy relationships or something? What exactly can I do for him? We don't already have a healthy relationship between us but I still want to stick by him.
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Confronting my friend about his past problems and mistakes
Relationship Stress / by lolita9824
Last post
 April 10th, 2022
...See more I’m a girl and I have a guy friend from high school who I have complicated feelings toward. Once every few months he still drops me a text, but I’ve stopped responding to him for several years now. When we were in high school, we were pretty close friends. There were times he talked about his relationship problems. For example, he and his then-girlfriend got disciplined in school, the girlfriend’s parents don’t want them to meet anymore until they graduate. In college he also got into some kind of disciplinary issue involving some girl again. He once said that a lot of girls he knew were interested in him romantically. I wasn’t comfortable asking him to be clearer in what he said because he didn’t seem like he want to elaborate, and I don’t want to probe. My family don’t think he’s a good friend to me. These “girl-related” problems are the most ambiguous and confusing to me. Does anyone relate to this guy or could give me a clue? He said that he is improving himself, and I assume the best in him. But with all my bottled-up confusion and the stress I have while hanging out with him, I’m just like, I don’t want to tune into his journey anymore. I don’t want to hear his problems. I no longer want to continue our friendship. The fact that he keeps texting me in the past few years bothers me. I felt he should have known when to leave. At this point in time, I’m single and from time to time I feel a little lonely. Although I feel like I shouldn’t, I keep thinking about rekindling my friendship with this guy. If I do, I NEED to get my confusions straightening up. I need to confront him and ask difficult questions. Does this sound justifiable? I’m nervous thinking about asking him to talk about the mistakes his younger self made and stuff. But I think if he’s been so persistent in wanting to reconnect with me, he needs to help me out here by having an open conversation with me.
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