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lolcooterbob3402
686 M Little Steps
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts85 Forum posts33 Forum upvotes32 Current upvotes32 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2024 Member sinceJune 5, 2024
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Seeking distraction.
Newbie Hub / by lolcooterbob3402
Last post
 June 17th
...See more Let's trade interesting stories from back in the day. When I was like 13 we loved out in the desert. For some reason there were a bunch of fish farms. I go stay the weekend at my buddies house. Theres like 5 of us just doing kid stuff. We go by the water and see this miles long lil aqueduct. Only like a foot or two deep but steady current. So we decide to lay flat and float. We got pretty good speed. Went for like a mile. It was a blast. I step out and everyone starts laughing. I was so confused. What was so funny. Well I was bigger. Puberty made me a giant. Made me weight more. So floating down the concrete aqueduct at speed by butt scrapped the whole way. Leaving my bleeding red bare butt exposed to the world. You never seen a lil kid jump so high from. Embarrassment lol.
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Tough love
Self-Esteem / by lolcooterbob3402
Last post
 June 9th
...See more Confidence is the ability to do something without thinking. Self doubt comes from thinking too much. Trying to be the best or comparing your self to anyone else is the wrong mindset. Number 1 can change. You want to be memorable. Love me or hate me you won't forget me. Here is something unfortunately I need to point out. You cant complain about people not talking to you if you cant conversate. Talking at people is making statements at people and thats not interactive. Listen dont just wait for your turn to talk and ask questions if you want replies. The term incel is disturbing. Learn how to problem solve people. A typical problem is young guys who are shy and cant approach woman. So dont. If your not a hunter then dont hunt. Fish instead. Fishing uses bait. Walking up a strange girl at the bar in a mexican restaurant and starting a conversation is hard. And that's just the first step. So dont. Go to the same Mexican resturant, sit at the bar, dont talk to nobody. But wear a shirt that says sancho on the back. Every approachable available woman in the place at one time or another will walk up yo the bar for a drink and make a joke to you about your shirt. Problem solved. No matter the starting wage of a new job. When they make you the offer say your willing to accept that if aftet 6 months you can have a conversation again. Employer will love the confidence and your guaranteed a raise after 6 months. If getting pressured for sex and you need a safe way out say you can't find your genital wart pills but skipping a day should be fine. Proper planning prevents *** poor proformance. Wanna be a smooth talker? When your by yourself pick a random topic and start talking out loud about it till you cant anymore. Then go again. Learn every corny one liners and jokes you can and keep the ones you like for quick responses. Its about knowing what your gonna say before you say it. I know my sancho shirt never fails. Always one guy says "so your sancho huh?" And I already know im gonna say "sorry for drinking the last beer" I know that will get me a free beer from the bartender, a laugh from the guy and his friends, drawing attention to the bar. Girl's hear the laughter and sancho being center of attention amd want to get involved in the fun. Dont think of the transition from lacking self esteem to having it ooze out your ears. Personally I found this to work. Go somewhere nobody knows you and fake it. Get better at faking it. Soon its not fake. Then even where your known. Confidence is a stain you cant wipe off.
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Are you not entertained?
Journals & Diaries / by lolcooterbob3402
Last post
 June 18th
...See more Experiences I remember. These are random things that stand out in my mind. Be warned, content will be not rated PG. I remember getting bullied in elementary. What sticks out is when one kid would talk yo me to hold my attention. Another kid would sneak up behind me. Get on all fours parallel. Then the kid talking would push me and my legs bounce off other kid and go in the air as I flip. I remember when I lost my virginity. I just turned 15. I had been a runaway for like 3 months. Me and my buddy walk by an AM/PM and see two girls. They ask us for a ciggarette. Im trying out how to flirt so hand over a smoke and ask " well what do I get? " one says the other is ***. Go smash. Theres a MC Donalds a cross the street and im thinking im gonna call her bluff so I say let's go. We walk over, I open the door. Girl walks in. Ok. Walk to bathroom door, hold it open. Girl walks in. Now in reflection, yeah that was dirty and so was she. But I can say I lost my virginity in the bathroom of a mc donalds. I remember driving down I65 going home driving in a lil scion xb. Had I been drinking? Yes. Did I have an open container when it happened? Yes. But alcohol had nothing to do with it. The road banked to the right. I got done sending a text and thru the phone on the passenger seat. But it bounced to the floor board. So as im in the right lane. Taking a wide right run. I reached down and to the right to get my phone. If you act that out you see your left hand goes sharp left when you do that. Sending my scion xb under the trailer then wheels of a semi. The poor truck driver never got out of his truck. He was shaking so bad cuz what he saw there was no way anyone lived. Not a scratch, bruise and I had my phone in my hand when I landed lol. I learned what alligators are at 5 years old. When a big rigs massive tire has a blow out the explosion shreds the steel radial tire I to strips that are left on the sides of freeways. They hurt when you get beat with them. I met an older mother and daughter in tennessee. They competed flirting with me. To the point that the daughter helped out her mother by taking a photo of her mothers down stairs, bare. To send to me. Straight up Jerry springer. I got a divorce. Pit some clothes in a duffle bag. Got in a and from california to tennessee. Not knowing a single person there. No job lined up. Nothing. Met someone in the airport after 45min, went hime with them. Lived there 3 years. I remember I am not allowed back in the state of Colorado. My life is forfeit if I go back. That was the deal. I remember doing road construction and having a test craft crash near me and the pilot explode. I remember hiding a single barrel shotgun under our nieghbors trailer when I was 12 so my dad didn't get attempted murder. I remember giving Amy Mitchell wisker burn bad on her cheek when we made out cuz I was starting to get facial hair. I remember how shocked I was the first time a dude came up yo me and called me gorgeous. Now if a girl wants to go to a gay bar I bring a water gun. Free drinks lol I remember being so confused by the feelings of regret, pitty and sorrow when he we made me do it. I hated my father. Still loved him. He stayed drunk 24/7 for 2 years when I was like 19. Me and my pregnant girlfriend go to my parents house.we had been there about an hour before he tried to stab me. Violently, drunkenly playing. But it was an hour latter. He was getting loud. I said hey man calm down shes pregnant with my kid. He yelled back F YOUR KID. I blacked out. Came to and he was splattered on the fridge. His mandible bone split in half. For some unknown reason I dropped to my knees. Put both hand out palms up on the floor and I told him font be afraid of me. Why did I do that?
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I'm venting
Depression Support / by lolcooterbob3402
Last post
 June 14th
...See more I say these things without ego, shame, regret or doubt. I am an evil man. At my core. Evil is the best word to describe me. So not in the religious sense mind you. I believe monsters are not born they are made. Before I go any farther let me clarify. Im not a discustingly evil man. Im evil in the way that I could charm the devil into moving to the south pole. I can and have grabbed a dufflebag full of clothes. Jumped on a plane from California to Tennessee. Not knowing ANYONE in the state. Met someone at the airport. Took me home. Lived there 3 years. I had never seen a welder in my life but a welding shop was hiring. Went and took a welding test. Guy said best one he seen in weeks. I used a grinder more then a welder after that lol. Could never repeat it. Ive never left a single person better off then before they met me. I moved closer to my kids. One started cutting herself and went to a mental hospital. Was told the behavior only started once I was back in her life. I mean every natural instinct I have is wrong. Every one. I can prove it. I took the listener test thing on here. First question. Active listening. What it said to do is everything annoys me about seeking help lol. So even when I try to help others its harmful. So here I am. I havent left a tiny bedroom except to go to bathroom and kitchen in almost 10 years. By myself. No online presence. Get everything delivered. For this reason and this reason alone. I dont want to negatively impact anyones life. And dont tell me I dont. I am a force. I was making 140k a year. Brand new truck. Beautiful wife. Divorced twice now. Both my fault. I see that. Scary part is im aware how I can be but there are times I don't see it. Terrifies me. When I offend people its usually on purpose but now I'm aware of things I cant see. But instead of getting new ex wives. Climbing up the ranks at work by defeating the competition. Harming my daughters mental health. Escaping any consequences and just carrying on. I quit my job. Went celibate. Stopped talking to literaly everyone. Unfortunately this small reality is hard to escape. Lack of social contact can effect one's mental. So how does one get social contact when one never leaves the house or talks to anyone you may ask. Well. This might give you a chuckle. Have you ever been ghosted by the suicide hotline? I have. Yep so I emailed at random. Respectful emails. Figured, we'll someone could point me in the direction of a place like 7cups. Never heard of it before. I emailed typical routine places. No response. So I got creative. I swear I did this I emailed the church of scientology, a Lutheran church in tennessee, a counselor at my old high school, a couple professors in the mental health field. Still nothing. So again. I sit here. So here's my ask. Does anyone know of another half crazy hermit who is anti social but has some crazy tales to share? If you do. Im interested.
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I Hate social media
Depression Support / by lolcooterbob3402
Last post
 June 12th
...See more I find social media revolting. Mainly for the sharing the same characteristics ive found on this site. 90% predators on the hunt and 10% of people overly defensive from said predators. To stop this from being a debate allow me to say this. My experience is not your experience. That being said. I havent left a tiny house in almost 10 years. Got stuck in a spiral with no bottom. Unfortunately, everytime I try to have a conversation online I can't find anything. It's sucks. This feeling. Best way I can describe it is like this. It feels like your drowning in a pool because when you reach your hand out the people on the side of the pool dont reach for your hand.
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