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limegreenCup3519
360 M Embraced 3
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts24 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceOctober 25, 2023
Bio

I'm 20 and diagnosed with depression and generalized/social anxiety. I have been through a lot over the years and think I may be on the autism spectrum and also have adhd, I am awaiting my assessments atm. I used to get on here when I was a teenager and vent to people or be a listener. I haven't been feeling well lately so I hope I can find some nice people to chat to and lift my mood a bit. 


Recent forum posts
RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME x100
Depression Support / by limegreenCup3519
Last post
 October 26th, 2023
...See more Just got my first crush after being socially isolated for a while, single for the first time in years and moved overseas. This person lives in my home country (thousands of miles away from where I moved) and is in a happy, committed relationship. Why do I always do this to myself? I felt it as it was happening but couldn't stop myself. I am lonely and don't have any friends where I currently live so visiting her back home this year was the best time I've had in a while. Feeling like I have a true friend and am not so lonely after all. She's also the first person I've ever shared so many interests with. I am super delusional but self-aware at the same time and it hurts. She is super flirty sometimes and told me she used to have a crush on me when we were younger which only stirs things up even more. I thrive on validation from others and she's been the first to give it to me in years. I tend to obsess and get attached very quickly when I'm in a vulnerable state (which I clearly am in now). I also feel attracted to people I know I can't have, when the chances are very low. I love the fantasy of it all. I become addicted to the little signs, the attention, like a slow burn romance novel. I don't experience this with random people, only when the other person gives me those types of signals (which she did in the past). The only chance I had of getting closer to her is if she were to move where I am, which she planned on doing in order to study at a nice university but the country I'm in isn't accepting international students on government loans anymore. This is so disappointing. Knowing I could've formed a tight friendship with someone, maybe something more than that over time. I tried so many dating apps but people don't understand how it is living with social anxiety, I can't just go on a date or FaceTime someone after exchanging 3-5 messages. I need time in order to open up and gather up the courage to meet up with a stranger. I chose to put that effort into someone I'm even that close to, who lives so far away. I kind of sabotaged myself but didn't even realize it at the time. UGH. THIS IS THE MOST PAINFUL RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME MOMENT I'VE EVER EXPERIENCED. 
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