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lilachearts
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 13, 2022
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Jealousy, Anxiety, Ghosting
Relationship Stress / by lilachearts
Last post
 March 15th, 2022
...See more Recently my anxiety has been consuming me and eating me alive. Suddenly, I had a weird feeling that the guy that I had strong feelings for, wasn’t being honest with me. We have had somewhat of a rocky “situationship,” constantly being on and off because he couldn’t commit to a relationship “with anyone.” This past week, we began talking again after I told him we shouldn’t speak anymore since I need to lose feelings for him and I can’t be friends with someone who I have feelings for. He made a new social media account to reach out since I blocked him. We started talking again and he made a bunch of promises to me, wanting to spend time together, being extremely flirty, and even wanting me to come and visit him. In a way, I think he sort of love-bombed me and I fell for it. Shorty after this, we spoke everyday and almost all day for an entire week. Although, at the end of the week, I started to be flirty with him and he left me on read. The next day, he sent me a long message, explaining how he was going through something and he apologized for not responding to me and stuff. Of course, I said I understood and left it at that. About a week after this, of having no contact, I started to get a very weird feeling. My anxiety started acting up so I went to check his social media and it turns out he has been spending every single day with a girl he basically told me not to worry about. In the past, he told me that she was only helping him through this hard time by listening to music together and talking, they have been friends for almost a year, and also it may seem like she’s been around him a lot lately because she likes to hang out with his friends. I can’t decide if he lied to me or if my anxiety is causing me to jump to conclusions and overthink but I didn’t have a good feeling about this at all. Something just felt wrong. It turns out, they listen to music together constantly and spend the majority of their days together, where he promised he would spend time with me but could never find anything for us to do. This hurt me a lot because I feel like he used the excuse of her being around his friends as a way for me not to worry about him spending a lot of time with her. Because in reality, they were spending more 1-on-1 time together than with anyone else. This really hurt me too because he used to tell me that he couldn’t spend a lot of time with just one person. Anyways, I ended up blocking him on every social media so we could have zero contact. I don’t even think he noticed I was gone. All of this hurts me because I can’t help but to check his social media and see if they are spending time together, which they always are. Today I am trying to not check it at all, but I just feel so used and lied to. I feel like he never wanted to commit to me, and always tried to get me to come back every time I walked away because I made him feel good. I was always kind to him, gave him a lot of my attention, and made sure that he felt loved. Although now it seems like he’s interested in his friend, has been spending a lot of time with her, and just threw me to the side. My heart hurts so much since I feel so blindsided by this. I should have walked away a lot sooner but I kept holding onto the hope of having a relationship with him. Has anyone else been through a similar situation to mine? How did you stop obsessing over their whereabouts and just move on? It seems so simple but it’s not. How can I redirect my jealousy and anxiety into something more positive so I can heal from this?
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