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lexie95
55,551 M Confident Walk 3
PathStep 72 Compassion hearts3,655 Forum posts96 Forum upvotes67 Current upvotes67 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceOctober 12, 2016
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My favorite season is the fall of the patriarchy.
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Not sure about this.. some confusing memories i try to get right
Trauma Support / by lexie95
Last post
December 30th, 2016
...See more I'm not really sure about this actually never put myself in the role of a victim of sexual abuse and i still don't feel okay with saying it.. I grew up in states care with my best friend, i knew him since i was about 11 years old. You could never keep us apart, hanging out all the time. We were never officially together but he was my first love, my first kiss. He asked me if he could be my first time too.. he's really charming so i said yes. When i was 13 (he was 14) he came to my bed at night and started to touch me. First it was okay for me but when it got serious is said i don't want this i made up my mind (at least i think i did). He didn't stop, i started to try to get him off but he was way too strong. I'm really not sure how to tell this though.. so it was really rough, i had bruises on my wrists and cryed a bit. He even asked me to do oral after it as if he wouldnt see i was upset. But in the end i wasnt very angry at him because i thought it was my fault. I thought i said yes at first so it was my fault. And i totally forgot about this for years.. or not forget but i shut it out and remembered many years later again. I thought i was old enough, he had girls before me already so i thought it must be right.. and i thought it's not his fault because he was abused by his dad. I'm not 100% sure if he was sexually abused but i think so, he'd never tell. I'm still not sure about what happened.. any oppinions?
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