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The short version: we were together for 4 and half years, she was perfect for me and she said I was for her, then she left me and I dont know if it was for someone else or not. I do believe no one will ever compare to her. We bought a house and we wanted to marry.
(very) Long version:
we met completely randomly online when we were 14,(were 27 now) we became friends and spoke often, she lived 100 miles from me (we live in the UK) so we mostly spoke online. When we were 15 my dad took me to see her, we got along very well in person just like we thought we would, I got the train back home and we kissed before I left.
We wanted to be together but the distance and our age didnt make it possible, we continued to be great friends for many years, helping each other with problems and issues and just being great friends. We both lived out lives and had gotten into relationships. I met up with her 2 more times over the years.
When we were 22 we were both single and we spoke a lot more, flirting online and getting to know each other more. At the beginning of December 2012 I took a week off work and went to stay with her for that week, we got very close and were intimate however she didnt feel a relationship was wise. I returned home and we continued to talk and became closer. On Christmas eve 2012 she agreed to be my girlfriend. I was over the moon. We continued to visit each other as often as possible and when we couldnt we would video chat online. we both really fell in love with each other, it was like a fairytale after wanting each other for so long but not being in a position to be together, the time was now right. We both decided to look for a job where each other lived to see who would get one first and then that person would move to be with the other, she got a job in my town in March 2013 and so we moved in together in a flat in my town.
The following years were amazing, yes we argued like any other couple but we were still in love, I shown her around my country and sometimes we would go stay at her parents and she would show me around her country. We did everything together; literally, we started a lot of hobbies together, went on adventures and a holiday every year. Had many similar interests and even the interests we didnt have in common at the time we still got each other into them. She did so many nice things for me and I could tell she was genuinely in love with me, Ive always been a realistic person however she made me believe in soul mates and she was mine, we were connected on such a deep level and both said we couldnt live without the other, we needed each other, she is the only person I have ever been truly attracted to and she said the same about me. And we knew each other so well and accepted each others issues.
In September 2015 (2 and half year after we moved into the flat together) we decided to buy a house together, somewhat stressful time but we were still happy, we were moving on with our life together. She also made it clear she would love to marry me, but she knew I never wanted to marry, I dont see the point. But I did eventually come round to the idea.
In April of this year (2017) she went on a cruise with her dad (her parent split up and the cruise was paid for so her dad took her, I didnt have a problem with this, I was just a little envious because Id like to go on an expensive cruise. While she was away I did many home improvements that Ive been meaning to do. 3 days before she came back she told me about a couple of friends she made on the cruise when drinking that night and I was happy for her.
When she returned something seemed off, she started to seem cold and distant and no longer wanted to be intimate. She said it was because she didnt like her body suddenly and she was having a lot of stress with work. I noticed she spoke CONSTANTLY with one of the male friends she met on the cruise, I started to feel funny about this and spoke with her about it but she reassured me they are just good friends.
Over the next 6 weeks things didnt get better, she seemed more distant and cold with me and still no intimacy (she did a couple of things for me but didnt seem like she wanted to). And my gut instinct said something was going on with her and this other guy (btw, this guy lives 200 miles from us, and 100 miles from her dads place). A week before we broke up we went for a spa day, it was a great day, we were close and intimate, she made me feel like the love was back again and I was happy, but then a few days later she mentioned about not knowing if we should be together and shes not good enough for me etc. I reassured her that she was good enough for me and I loved her.
Then a few days later she broke down and said she wants to be on her own, we spoke for many hours trying to figure out what was going on and she was basically just saying that shes under so much stress and doesnt know whats going on in her head that she doesnt think she should be in a relationship and wants to literally be on her own, she wants to just spend all her time without anyone and just read. Since we own a house together we are still living together since neither of us can afford to move out until the house sells. A week after we broke up I had to act on my gut instinct, I looked on her old phone (she recently got a new one) and saw a message from her to this guy saying how much she liked him and stuff like that, I asked her about it and she said it was just in a friends way. She know every girl Ive been with has left me for someone else or slept with someone else straight after breaking up and she said she would never do that, and Im the only person shes liked in this way and enjoyed sex with.
Over the next few days she still talks to him all the time and I have noticed a few things she has said to him as Ive glanced at her phone while talking to him and there has been a lot of flirting and rude talk. Last week she went to her dads as she booked some time off work and every day she has been out with lots of different friends having a good time, despite saying shes so stressed she just wants to sit in a room everyday by herself. its like shes not even hurt that she no longer has what she said was the love of her life, its like shes happy and has wanted to get away from me for a while.
I still dont know if that guy has anything to do with it or if shes even met up with him, or what the actually reason is for this break up, but its definitely final and she doesnt want me. We broke up officially 3 weeks ago and she will be back home from her dads in a couple of days so she can continue to work, its going to be hell still living with her and not knowing whats going on. Its made me question everything, or wonder where I went wrong. I feel unloved, unattractive, my self-esteem and confidence are no longer and I just dont see the point in anything anymore. I cant enjoy anything I used to do, partly because they were things we did together.
She was who I went to with my problems before we were together and now I have no one to go to.
For those that say there is no ‘true love and ‘the one and ‘soul mate. I know what you mean and everyone has their own definition of those phrases. So Ill explain why I would say she was my ‘one.
She is the only person Ive had a strong connection for and been in love with (and yes Ive had other long term relationships before).
I am quite opinionated and have a lot of views and opinions that many wouldnt agree with but she did.
Shes the only person I have enjoyed sex with (and for reference Ive been with 8 other people).
She is the only person I have ever been truly attracted too, yes I think others are pretty, cute, fit, whatever, but attraction is different to me. And shes the only one I have felt this attraction for. And she said the same thing about me.
We both dont want children.
We were just compatible in every way
So, the chances of me finding someone else to be with that fits all that is near impossible, Im almost 100% certain that in my life I will never have all that again, so I would say she is ‘the one.
