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intellectualmaya8120
1 1,550 M Little Steps 5
PathStep 29 Compassion hearts244 Forum posts27 Forum upvotes28 Current upvotes28 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceOctober 27, 2021
Recent forum posts
Lost a parent
Grief & Loss / by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 September 9th
...See more I lost my dad very recently and I'm having such a hard time with guilt and grief. We had a very complicated relationship and he was very abusive towards my siblings and my mom growing up but my mom left when I was a toddler and I never experienced any of that. It did affect my relationship with him because we truly didn't have one. Despite living in the same town he'd never see me more than oncea year when I was younger, and once I became an adult he never reached out and just stopped trying to be a part  of my life.  I hate that I'm sad that I lost the possibility of ever having a relationship with him, that he never tried and even in his last days he never asked forgiveness for not wanting to be a part of my life. The loss still hurts so much because I did love him and wished for him to be here for me.  The loss doesn't feel real. 
Struggling
Relationship Stress / by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 May 31st, 2022
...See more My now ex boyfriend broke up with me after over 2 years together. He was accusing me of cheating and made a “joke” about how I should go to my other man’s house to use his electricity instead of his. We argued about it and he went on to accuse me of talking to other men on social media and he demanded that I hand over my phone so he could look through it. I refused to hand over my phone due to not wanting to feel like I’m being controlled and micromanaged; and he kicked me out of his apartment and told me we were done. My heart is broken this was a man I saw my future with, we wanted a life together and children and just like that he cast me out. I don’t know how to keep going.
Forgiving Myself - Supportive/Encouraging Words Welcomes
Relationship Stress / by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 January 25th, 2022
...See more Today I decided to start working on forgiving myself for my past failed relationship, I know this isn't an easy road or a quick on stop solution but it's something I want to work on. I was in a relationship with a drug addict. When he relapsed and went back to drugs, I wanted so desperately to fix him; I even began to blame myself for him having gone back to drugs. I thought I was the problem, and part of me still does. But I want to forgive myself for being so hard on myself and for not letting go.
I'm struggling - any advice/insight is welcome
Relationship Stress / by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 December 23rd, 2021
...See more I never thought that I'd be struggling so much and fighting so hard to keep my relationship afloat. I so badly want everything to work out but with my boyfriend I no longer know, and it makes my heart ache so much. We both battle depression/anxiety and it's always a roller coaster, and when the lows hit, they hit hard. We're currently at our lowest so far in the entirety of our relationship, he had a huge rift with his family and on top of that the mother of his children won't let his children spend time with him for the past few months. I've been here for it all but he's doing everything to push me away and none of my help seems to be what he wants. I don't even know how to be there for him anymore. He's been so resentful at me for having my family and being able to spend the holidays with him - even though I've tried to include him on multiple occasions he always denies. A part of me doesn't even know if I want to keep being there for him because it's breaking my own heart. I just feel so lost.
Do I keep trying
Relationship Stress / by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 December 7th, 2021
...See more My boyfriend just broke up with me, after a disagreement that shouldn’t have gotten blown out of proportion by either of us. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now and had a lot of plans for the future and have even started about starting a family and now all of that is just gone. i know I still very much love him and would want to work things out I don’t know what I should do anymore. if he was willing to walk away from our relationship over something so minor should I even try to save this?
Struggling
Relationship Stress / by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 November 11th, 2021
...See more Hello everyone this might be kind of long and if you decide to read on and reply thank you I've been with my current s/o for nearly 2 years now -we were both previously married and he has children from his previous marriage and I do not have any. Over the past few months he has been struggling with his ex-wife over visitation of the children, she's been alienating him and keeping the children away and the way the court system is set in the US getting more time and a comprehensive custody agreement is nearly impossible. He's been struggling with it a lot as have I; my struggle now is not knowing if this is a battle I want to continue fighting with him. We have disagreements over me caring too much and then he does a 180 and it becomes that I don't care or support him enough. I want to create healthy boundaries and not be too involved with things related to his children since we are not married and I'm honestly afraid to tell him and have been thinking of just breaking off our relationship despite knowing that I do love him and want to be with him. I want to have the conversation with him but I don't even know where to start. Any advice or kind words will help.
Contemplating a breakup
Relationship Stress / by intellectualmaya8120
Last post
 November 6th, 2021
...See more I’ve been going through a really difficult time with my boyfriend and his custody battle with his ex wife and it’s just bringing down my spirits and I don’t feel strong enough to go through this with him. I feel so guilty leaving him because I love him so much and I want a life with him. I’m so lost and it’s just such a hard situation. Any advice or tips are welcome
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