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ilovemycat16
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PathStep 14 Compassion hearts97 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes74 Current upvotes74 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceNovember 6, 2024
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What’s up with her?
Around the World / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Okay so I’m going to start off with a little bit of context: im 20 years old, will be 21 in April. I’ve dealt with irregular periods for awhile now. Sometimes they start when predicted & sometimes they’re late. They usually will start late whenever I have a lot going on & am dealing with lots of stress, which has been pretty much frequent here lately. It’s been common for my periods to be irregular & truly it doesn’t bother me, there’s always more factors that play into it being late. If I were to have no stress or less stress, they would probably be regular. my boyfriends mom is constantly telling me I need to get on birth control to regulate my periods & I always tell her that’s not something I want to do & don’t feel it’s necessary. She will try to pressure me by saying that she made me an appointment to get put on birth control or to get another form of it. She made her daughter go on her 18th birthday to get a birth control implant & she constantly will tell me how much it has helped. She will tell me that her daughter used to have irregular periods too and that the implant made her periods worse for the first 6 months & then it went away & she no longer has a period at all. Now, me & her daughter are VERY close, so we talk about a lot. The implant is something that she did not want & it has been nothing but trouble for her since she’s had it. I’ve told her how her mom has said it helps so much & makes you feel better & regulates your period, to which she said none of that was true. She has always been a skinny girl, she said she’s never been over 150 but after getting the implant, she gained 30 pounds. On top of that, she said it has made her skin look & feel awful & she feels very insecure. my boyfriends mom had made me numerous appointments to try & get me on some sort of birth control & her reason is always “to regulate my periods”. I never go to any of the appointments because I do not want or need birth control right now. I’ve never been on it & don’t want to. My OWN mother never told me I had to take it or tried to force me to. My mama has always told me that it’s my decision & if I want to be on it, then we will arrange for it. She never made me feel pressured into taking birth control, EVER. me & my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years and his mom has always told me I needed to be on something. Me & my bf obviously do the deed but we’re both still young & not wanting kids right now so we take other precautions & use other contraceptives to be safe. His mom told me that in 2025, I need to make birth control a priority & get on it. no matter how much I tell her that I don’t want or need it, she still pushes. What do you think about this?? Opinions? Advice?
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the Joy of the Holidays
Around the World / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 December 9th
...See more i know that a good majority of people often feel down & depressed during this time of year. It’s cold out, it gets dark earlier, the trees are not full of green, Christmas, thanksgiving & new years happen which means spending time with loved ones. Some people don’t have the opportunity to spend the holidays with others. Some don’t have anyone to spend them with. Seasonal depression happens around this time. There’s many factors that may affect how someone feels about this time of year. but me? I love it. I love the cold. I could walk around in a bikini in the cold because I love it that much. I love Christmas lights, like an unusual amount. I love driving around and looking at Christmas lights. I love seeing the decorations. Most of the people around me don’t enjoy going to see Christmas lights. They don’t understand why I enjoy it so much. & honestly, I don’t either. Just like I don’t understand why I love parades so much, or why I love history & how things work, how things were made, how things used to be. I often watch videos of people going through “time capsule” houses. I love seeing old products such as a sprite can, bandaid boxes, etc & knowing how they used to look. I love old magazines, old books, old commercials or ads in a newspaper. I tend to fixate on these things that I love and I’m not sure why. I feel such a strong feeling of love towards these things. Christmas lights & decorations, parades, history. I love all of these things as if they were people I know. When I get fixated on these, it’s hard for me to not talk about them or get super giddy. Whenever I see these things I feel an overwhelming amount of happiness. i absolutely believe others experience seasonal depression but why don’t I? Is it simply because I struggle with depression year round? Does it only affect people who don’t struggle year round? I never feel depressed during one specific season. I love summertime because of the beach, swimming, getting a tan & being around a pool all day. I love spring because it’s not too hot & the bees, butterflies and birds are out enjoying each day, flowers bloom, trees are full of beautiful green leaves, the pollen coats my car as if the bees were saying “we’re here and we love it”. I love fall because it’s the perfect temperature outside, you can go to a pumpkin patch and pick out your favorite one and go home and carve it into anything, the leaves fall to the ground as if to say they’ve done their job and when the next season of warmth & light comes a new leaf when grow to take over the job. And lastly, I love winter time because it’s often pretty cold out, you get to bundle up and finally wear the cute sweater in your closet that you’ve been eyeing until the time was right, you get to wear your favorite hoodie, jacket, sweatshirt that it had been too hot to wear, you get less daylight which means more time to see all of the lights you’ve waited all year for, you can go to your favorite coffee spot & pick up a nice, warm drink to sip on as you look at the lights and decorations, each store you pass or walk into is filled with joy & smiling faces and as you walk to the aisle you need to go you pass numerous Christmas trees that wait patiently for someone to take them home and decorate them in a home that will make many memories, you pass the blow up decorations that whistle the sound of the air that fills them, you see lights that sparkle, some that fall, some big & some small. You feel the warmth of the air that blows throughout to ensure each customer is warm while shopping. You see the love, the joy and the peace in each persons face as they walk by, you see the light in the eyes of each child as they see their favorite cartoon character blown up and full of lights. There’s so much to see. Some much love to feel. So many memories to make. There’s joy around each corner, at each store. Each house you pass gives off light through the windows as the Christmas tree sits. Through the year, each person is divided in some way. But as December approaches, each individual comes together without even knowing. They all share a common goal of spreading Christmas joy with the lights and decorations. a majority of my trauma has been gained during the holidays, but somehow, some way I still see the good. I feel the love. I feel the joy. I see the lights that light up the sky. I feel the warmth of my coffee fill my stomach as I feel the warmth of the lights fill my heart. what a wonderful feeling that is. to know pain and still feel joy.
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The loop
Around the World / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I feel as though my life is stuck in a loop of some kind. I wake up every morning & do the same things. I dread nighttime because it’s when everyone goes to sleep & I know that when i go to sleep & I wake, it’ll be the same thing as the previous days before. I try to find different things to do throughout my days, but by the middle of the week, everything is clean & there’s not much needed to be done. I don’t have a job currently but am searching & i find it difficult to get any reply, but I’m still trying. I’m home alone Monday-Friday from 7am to about 4pm. It gets lonely, boring & i spend alot of time with my thoughts. I look forward to 4:30pm everyday bc that’s when my boyfriend gets home, i look forward to the weekends because he doesn’t have to work & I won’t have to be alone. I hate being alone. I hate being by myself. I love having his company. I can’t wait to get a job so that I will have SOMETHING to do each day, a reason to wake up each morning. I want to feel like I have a purpose. I don’t want to feel stuck. I don’t want to feel like each day is the same as the day before. I don’t want to feel like a burden. I don’t want to depend on anyone else for financial support. I want to feel understood. I want out of this loop.
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is she toxic? or just being a mom?
Around the World / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 December 6th
...See more the title may seem confusing, but this isn’t about my mother. It is about my boyfriend’s mother. For context, me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now. At first, I was shy and didn’t talk a lot and only saw my boyfriend on the weekends, maybe a few times during the week but only July 4th, 2024 I moved in with him due to some issues at my house dealing with my parents. His mother and sister both live in the house as well. We are working on saving to move out but due to me losing my job, it isn’t going too well. Anyways, I’ve been living here for 5 months now. At first, things were fantastic. Me and my boyfriend have always been good & we tell each other everything. We RARELY ever argue or bicker with each other. But, about 2 months ago my bf got a call about a credit card that he owed $4,000 on. He was confused and had NO clue what these people were talking about. They told him his name & social security number were linked to the card but the email for the card was his moms. He came home & asked her about it and she told him that she got the card during a rough time financially & had to put it in his name bc her credit was bad. She has had NUMEROUS credit cards before & that’s what ruined her credit. He logged into the account to see the date is was opened and it was about 7 months ago, which is when she had a job that brought $60,000 home in just a month, so he knew she was lying. He ended up paying $2,000 on the credit card to try and fix his credit that she ruined. She woukd CONSTANTLY tell him she would start paying for it but never did. There’s still $2,000 left to pay off that no one has touched. she’s also a RAGING alcoholic. She buys 3 6 liter bottles of wine every week & finishes them within 3 days. She only drinks 2 glasses every night & somehow gets “drunk” to the point she blacks out. I found out that she had pain meds hidden that she stole from her 85 year old mother who has dementia. She mixes the meds with the alcohol. Whenever she’s called out for being a drunk, she always says she’s fine and she doesn’t have a problem. She has stolen money from my boyfriend & her mom to buy her wine. The complains CONSTANTLY about being broke but the wine is $50 a bottle. if me and my boyfriend ever have an argument of any kind, she always makes sure she steps in & gives her opinion. She will make it out to be my fault, no matter what it’s about. She will tell me I need to communicate better, I need to stop shutting down & talk things out, & that our relationship will never work if I don’t do better bc she “can’t allow her son to deal with that like she used to”. She’s VERY controlling over my boyfriend (he’s 21) and calls him at least 5 times a day. If me & him are in town, she will call and ask when we will be back. She told me that we needed to hurry home & not stay too long whenever we were at my house visiting my parents. She tells my boyfriend what he can & cannot buy. She tries to control his money & is constantly asking for money from him but she has talked HORRIBLY about me to him saying he spends his entire checks on me (which is NOT true) & she had no clue I could hear her. She told my bf that he owes her $500 every month to pay off his storage building & we ended up calling the people bc they had been paying on his for 2 years so it should have been paid off but when we called we found out it had been paid off for 4 months, yet she continued to tell him it wasn’t. She denied and denied whenever he called her out & has tried since then to get him to pay the $500 for said building. she will do my laundry even though I ask her VERY kindly not to. I hate people touching my things. She has stolen underwear, shorts, leggings, shirts, bras, etc. from me. She claims that my things ended up in her laundry which I KNOW is false bc I keep up with everything of mine and NEVER wash my clothes with anyone else’s. She did my laundry for me one morning when I had asked her not to and I was sitting right in front of her when she walked into the laundry room. She closed the door when she went in which she NEVER does & the only reason I know she did my laundry is because I could hear her open up the dryer door & I had put my clothes in the dryer 45 minutes before. whenever she walked out, I had my back turned and as she was walking out of the door, I saw she had her hands up to her chest. I went to check my clothes to see if anything had been taken & sure enough things had. I asked her if she had seen the items while she was doing my laundry & she said “I don’t believe I did” so the next day whenever she went to work, I went to check her room and found what was missing. I knew they were mine because I initialed ALL of my clothes for that very reason. there is honestly SOOOOOOO much more but those are just the few things I felt like sharing. Throughout all of this, my boyfriend has been VERY defensive & has helped me whenever she has done things like this. We have never once allowed her to get in between us. we also are trying really hard to move out but like I said, since losing my job isn’t been very difficult for us to save up. so, with all of that being said. what do you guys think? does she have a problem? is she toxic, crazy, etc. or just a normal mother? what would you guys do???
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why? why? why?
Around the World / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 Sunday
...See more why do I get so angry when someone takes my clothes without permission? why do I have a meltdown when someone puts my clothes in the washing machine & dryer? why do I get so *** off when someone hangs up/folds my clothes? why do I feel so aggravated when someone puts my clothes in my closet & doesn’t put them in the right place? why do I have to have the clothes in my closet organized from most worn to least worn & in categories? why do I feel like screaming when my things are messed with? why can’t I just be normal? why do I get so overwhelmed & anxious when my clothes are washed with someone else’s? what is this? why am I like this?
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Anyone else?
General Support / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 November 20th
...See more anyone else ever feel like they’re just living the same day over & over again? no energy, no motivation, no interest in things you used to enjoy. Moving from the bed, to the couch to my desk all day everyday. how can I fix this? How can I feel excited about each day again? & have energy & find joy in my hobbies again? I have no job bc I was fired without reason, I have no money, I have no friends. No one to talk to through the day bc everyone is at work. The only thing I look forward to is my boyfriend coming home from work..I barely eat & I just sleep to make time go by faster. im exhausted & I just want to feel like me again.. I just feel stuck in an endless loop. I want out of the loop. I want to feel excitement & ambition again. I’ve lost it & I feel let down.. any advice would be so greatly appreciated & thank you all in advance🩷. I rlly hope I’m able to get back to feeling like me again..
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Jealousy? Envy? What could it be?
Around the World / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 November 19th
...See more hello! so, a few weeks back I made a post in here asking if therapy was scary. Since then, I’ve started seeing a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Major Depression, Major anxiety, Bipolar Disorder and mild PTSD. I have had the worst time sleeping for a month now, I’ve been having migraines everyday, my mind races constantly and it all feels never ending sometimes. I was prescribed an antidepressant which helps with insomnia, migraines, anxiety and depression & was instructed to take it everynight 2 hours before bed which I’ve been doing & so far, it works well. I haven’t had a migraine since starting & i sleep better than I have in awhile now. I was really nervous going into my appointment but I ended up feeling calm after talking with the psychiatrist for a bit. He was fantastic! A great listener & had a very calm demeanor, which made me feel much better. I go back in December for a checkup to see how my meds are working. So that’s an update on that & I am so grateful for everyone’s kind words on my post!!! but there’s something I have a question about. I have been getting really irritated by the smallest things. Whether that be people or an event that occurred to trigger my irritation. I wish I didn’t get so angry & irritated so fast. It makes me feel like I’m taking steps backwards. Why is this happening? Why do I get so irritated so easily over the smallest things? What’s the reason?? Is it just my brain? Is it normal? How can I help it? How can I stop getting irritated so fast? another thing..idk if it jealousy, envy or just plain aggravation but yesterday my boyfriends sister was told that she was going to going with her grandma to town to buy her an iPad. For some reason, that made me angry. I don’t know why though because I don’t want an iPad, I have no use for one. & in my mind I just kept telling myself that she’s so spoiled. She’s 19, no job, doesn’t go to school, she goes out everynight until about 1am with friends & her mom pays for it even when she isn’t in the best financial position. My boyfriend had to get a year 2001 vehicle and she got a 2020. My bf was told no one could afford to get him a new phone. He has an iPhone X, she has an iPhone 15. My bf was told he couldn’t go to college bc it was too expensive, she got her college paid for in FULL by the same mom that told my bf he couldn’t go & she ended up dropping out after 2 months. Am I wrong for feeling angry about her getting an iPad after she’s already had everything handed to her? My bf was forced to get a job by his mom or else he’d have to find somewhere else to stay but his sister gets to sit on her *** at home all day until she’s ready to go out. She never cleans, never cooks, never does ANYTHING around the house even when she’s here all day & my bf gets in trouble for it when he’s been working for 12 hours all day. Whenever his sister was told that she would have to wait until later this week to go get the iPad bc their grandma (who was going to pay for the iPad & also has dementia) wasn’t able to go out tonight she pitched a fit bc “she canceled her plans to be able to get the iPad” & was saying “now I’m never gonna get it bc she has dementia so she’ll just forget” & that really irritated me. Am I wrong for being irritated? Is it just jealousy bc she gets any and everything she wants? Is it reasonable? Am I just thinking about it too hard? I don’t know. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Eveytime someone brings up her going to get an iPad I get so irrationally angry & have to walk away bc it makes my blood boil. Why though? Does anyone know why? Am I being dumb? Am I in the wrong by feeling this way? Or is it valid for me to feel this way? I need opinions, advice, anything. I want to feel normal. I don’t want to be so quick to anger. thank you in advance, for the help, support & advice ❤️
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Is therapy scary?
Around the World / by ilovemycat16
Last post
 November 9th
...See more hi. im ht & I just joined the app yesterday. the past month i have been struggling a lot with depression and anxiety. I am on lexapro & have been for over a year now & have never had any issues with it. it’s always worked so good for me & helped me so much. over the last month i have lost my dream job, my car, moved out of my house due to my living situation, been searching for jobs but seems like nowhere is hiring, been looking into college but it seems impossible for me due to financials and have had such an overwhelming amount of stress on my shoulders. I have been bottling all of this up and this past Friday I had a mental breakdown. Uncontrollably crying, multiple panic attacks, etc. Over the weekend I was fine, I felt normal again but then Monday came & everything went downhill again. Yesterday I just cried to my boyfriend & I told him I need help. I’ve never been to a therapist or a counselor because I’m scared for people to know that I struggle. I have never wanted to admit that I need help. But also the thought of having someone who doesn’t know me & I can talk to them about anything and everything I feel without judgement sounds awesome. I’m just nervous because it’s such a big step. I’ve always been told that getting therapy is “weak” & I know in my heart that’s not true but the nervousness & the worry is still there. I don’t personally know anyone who goes to see a therapist/counselor but I figured someone here might. If anyone does & has ANY advice at all please share. I would love to hear others experiences with therapy/ counseling & hopefully I can gain some relief about seeking professional support❤️
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