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idkwhttoname
69 M Embraced
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceMarch 20, 2022
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I feel guilty for 13 years
Anxiety Support / by idkwhttoname
Last post
 March 24th, 2022
...See more I don't know who to talk to and thankfully I found this app. Sorry for my bad English, its not my main language. 13 years ago, I talk bad things and spread rumors about my best friend. I only say this to one of my friend, but suddenly all my classmates heard about the rumors I created, including my bestfriend. It was really bad, I don't have the courage to say sorry to my bestfriend. I can't sleep well and can't focus. I even think about suicide, and hope she never met me. her life would be better without me. I tell this story to my mom, she said it's okay, say sorry to her, everyone will forget about that eventually, including me and my bestfriend. NO. My bestfriend hates me for about a year, but then she become nice to me again. I finally apologize to her. After a few years, we graduate elementary school and get into the same junior and senior high. School was terrible, I meet her everyday because we got into the same class for 5 out of 6 years. I don't want to meet her, I felt guilty every time I see her, but at the same time I don't want to lose her. I will do anything to help her and she helped me with many things. I really like to listen to her stories too. She consider me as her bestfriend and she's really kind to me, but that makes everything worse. That makes me felt really bad. I know she still remember the thing I did back then, sometimes she also brings that story up. A few days ago she said she's sorry for hating me about a year back then. I said it's okay, I started it, she deserve to hate me. But some part of me wants her to forget me or just hate me all the time. I still feel guilty after 13 years. What should I do? Please help. Thank you so much. I hope you have a nice day!
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