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hurtinghusband23
1,957 M Hopeful Heart 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts97 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 1, 2024
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Hello all! I'm husrtinghusband23. I am currenlty going throgh a divorce.
Relationship Stress / by hurtinghusband23
Last post
 February 15th
...See more My wife and I knew each other prior to our first marriages and after those marriages ended in divorce, we began talking and, eventually, dating.  After six months of dating we got married.  Everything was wonderful, until we got married.  On our wedding day she spent more time with her family and friends than she did with me.  She spent the second night of our marriage on the sofa texting her first husband's mother telling her she felt bad her first marriage didn't work out.  My wife, obviously, never loved me.  She promised we would get joint bank accounts when we married, but once we were married she wouldn't do that.  She even told me her ex-husband was on her bank account still.  My wife also fell into a deep depression about a month after we married, saying it was due to menopause and her adult daughters not coming to visit with her.  But my wife would often ignore her daughters when they called, even when I encouraged her to talk with them and invite them over.  My wife would spend hours on her phone while sitting in her car and she would always leave the room when someone called or texted.  She said she wanted a Christian marriage, but she always put herself and her daughters ahead of us.  When we would have conflict, she would leave the house for hours and not answer the phone, or just stonewall me by saying, "Leave me alone" or "don't talk to me."  She would literally lay on the sofa and as I knelt to pray for her she would tell me she "had nothing to give" or "leave me alone."  Many times she told me she "had nothing to give me" and that she was putting on a show for her friends and family but was the "real" her with me.  I loved her well, but she would not love me back.  I often told her I just wanted her to be sweet and loving toward me and she would say, "I shouldn't have to."  She left me for days at a time and would not communicate.  Then when she came home, she wouldn't discuss where she went or how to resolve the issues she and I were going through.  Prior to her finally leaving, we had a huge argument, because my health was being affected greatly due to the loss of sleep and appetite resulting from our strained relationship.  She did not act  like any of this prior to our marriage.  I feel like she didn't want to, or didn't know how to love.  I only wanted her to love me like I loved (and still love) her.  She told me she was leaving and there was no way forward.  I am struggling to understand how a Christian woman refuses to communicate and reconcile.  This has broken my heart.  It seems, though, that this is what is best for me.  Thanks for any encouragement from the community!
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