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hoodgirl11246
12,617 M Pacing Forward 8
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts261 Forum posts22 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 22, 2023
Bio

iam alka

Love is the powerful source to train mind and to make someone better person by heart....

but it is also love which make them worst person ever walked on earth

Someone who's ruined by love will always live like a shadow

"You ruined me,love"

I wish I could feel a little love again , but I can't find right friend or lover!,.... If wishes were riders, beggars would ride!

but hope that all other human beings in this earth would find peace in love... I don't want anyone ending up like me, lol...

In ur eyes I maybe bad person but in my own eyes I am better!

Recent forum posts
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Ever addicted to someone?
Addiction Support / by hoodgirl11246
Last post
 April 9th, 2023
...See more Call me hoodgirl, I'm 16 I was the girl who was denied love and proper care from my younger age hence I cared about my friendships too much, when it all end up hurts,I found my self pleasing to them I couldn't move on for almost 2years ans when I finally did someone came to my life.... Last year her name... I can't say! She's a topper and I am a backbencher which scores medium marks I haven't noticed her I never did until it's the lockdown she messaged me first, it was her duty to arrange prayer group for online class, she asked me to do pledge nd I agreed but suddenly she said it's okay, she got someone else , I replied ''okay'' days passed I have a hobby to put sad, depressing status on whtsapp.. And also about zodiac signs , one day I put a status of zodiacs and she replied she does reply earlier but I never cared but this time I payed attention she said about her zodiac and I told her tht her zodiac and mine are very close... Nd then one day she put a story, which was "ask me any one question" There are many numbers and many questions I replied no 11 the question is "when was the last time u ever cried " She replied "today" And I asked her why! She replied it's nothing , she'll cry to many times thinking about studies etc nd she asked me the same question I replied "right now" With tears rolling down through my cheeks to the floor šŸ™ƒ I was crying the whole time because of my bestie ,i felt like she was avoiding me I was an overthinker and was insecure about almost everything in my life she asked why then i send her a voice message our chat continued for the first time in my life I never felt this much releif, I finally felt what it is like when the tears are rolling down but you are messaging to someone, our frndship grew somhow I was toxic to her, but I never knew! For me I was overthinking but for her she may felt like I am controlling her and i was treating her like a therapist but for me it's different I thought tht I am sharing about my days sad day happy day, sad news, happy news... But she was overwhelmed and never let me knew, I always csred for her I never meant to hurt her , I mean no harm but guess I ended up hurting her! And myself! , she's someone who doesn't open up about feeling but I opened up about how i feel about frbdships in past I told her many times I want u to be my best frnd till the end, when I cried she was there, when I was at my worst yet she was there but never knew tht she doesn't like me that much and it finnaly hurts when i knew one day when I felt like she's totally ignoring me I asked her nd somehow she felt like I am cross questioning her and she blocked me.... I waited nd waited for days for her to unblock me I begged her! I called her I cried... I was the person who loves to hide tears but not from her! I never hided my true self from her... When she said that we can never be best frnds it broke my heart just how I broekd my phone next day I paid a visit to her house and jt was heartbreaking many things happened! She cried but I didn't! I hold it up nd when I was about to leave she hugged me and said sorry, I really was a fool to think that she said sorry is to fix everything.... I never knew it was goodbye ... After so many days on aug 8 when me and mom were going through that way we paid a visit and that's when I knew the truth , she didn't said it, her parents did to my mother, I can still hear their voices in my head, I am someone who cuts myself like a price of paper! When my mom finds out , when her father told her she asked me with a confused sad voice ''did u ever cut ur hand?'' I couldn't look at her or anyone but I never lie so I mm to my mother! We left! From there after that I hated her but it's just a lie I cannot hate her but I wish tht it was her who should be telling me that I was toxic! It's almost 8/9 months but yet I'm in pain.... I was obsessed over this frndship! And I shall never have frnds...she messed it up for everybody... But I didn't give up I hoped that there'll be someone who can make me feel better but no one never made me felt like she did!, I hope that she's happy...! I don't know why am I getting addicted to everyone which I talk to about myself deeply I really wanna stop doing this and I found a way! Being cold! I turned my emotions off but sometimes I am struggling I could not turn em back on...! These days I've been having these dreams! Once was true but now it's just a nightmare! Thank you, - (Hoodgirl)ALKA
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About myself
General Support / by hoodgirl11246
Last post
 March 1st, 2023
...See more Hello, I am alka, I am an artist... I love to draw /paint very much. I like to sing but pretty sure that everyone's gonna run! I love to write...but usually burn after I write because most of my writings are about pain and it's beauty, I love to read books coho fan And I was a gamer...,once and I am a series addict... Tvd fan girlšŸ’—that's pretty much about myself
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Loss of a little love I ever had in my life
Grief & Loss / by hoodgirl11246
Last post
 March 5th, 2023
...See more I had a best friend , who helped me in the fight with myself, who sang me songs so that I can have a good sleep without nightmares.... Filled my demons with love and care.... Tried to change me to a better person and then that was the same best friend who stabbed me in the back, same best friend who let me drown in the wave of pain!... A new nightmare created that day , A nightmare called best friend (friend ship) a friend who feed myself to my own demon. She didn't just ruined my life she ruined it for everyone.... I lost my trust on everyone.. Real world means nothing to me as long as I feel emptiness... I can't say real world because it was never real... I am climbing down to the darkest part of myself.. Where I am in greatest depths of despair. _ Hoodgirl. Alka.
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I feel empty
Self-Harm Recovery / by hoodgirl11246
Last post
 March 3rd, 2023
...See more I am trying not to hurt myself..... But the anger is consuming me! And now I feel nothing today's exam but I feel nothing! I don't know what's going on
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Facing Fears,
Work & Career / by hoodgirl11246
Last post
 March 1st, 2023
...See more Ever beeen lost in darkness and you struggle to fall back into light but you can't face your thoughts! You fear yourself.. You are afraid of overthinking and harm caused by it , you try to explain but you fail... In my case no one could help me but me, love yourself, face your fear, i am facing my fears now because I don't have anything to lose anymore I am at my greatest despair... Sometimes you are your own greatest enemy. You're your own obstacle in the path of happiness and success, so always be ready to face your fearšŸ¤ _ Hoodgirl Alka
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