Hello, I am a freshman in high school. When I was two years old, my father passed away, and shortly after that, my grandparents also passed away. This caused my mother to become depressed. Because she needed to work, she started leaving me alone at the age of three without supervision, often coming back very late at night. Over the years, she started hitting me and insulting me for the most trivial reasons, such as breaking a glass or trying to concentrate. She often insulted my appearance and made me feel like a terrible person. Unfortunately, since elementary school, I have been a victim of bullying and have not been able to make any friends. I have also been subjected to abuse and verbal abuse, even from teachers. I have begun to hate my appearance and my strange mind. Since childhood, I have created imaginary worlds and characters, which were once beautiful. However, they have now turned into something dark and violent, to the point that I sometimes struggle to come back to reality - I cannot hear, see, or feel the person in front of me. I have become a recluse and have developed a deep love for dark and gloomy art. The bullying didn’t stop, and I would hurt myself excessively, yet I didn’t feel any pain when I did it. Thinking about it, I realized that I wasn’t really sad, even when someone died in front of me—I didn’t cry. Oddly enough, I’ve come to love the marks of hurt and abuse on my body; they look beautiful to me.