greengoose72 Member Profile

...See more As the more time passes it seems like the harder it is to cope. Big things are happening in my life and I just have to do it without him. His death affected me more than one in my family did but my family doesn’t talk about their emotions. My parents are pretty closed off on the emotional aspect. My dad was in my life and was a dad but he was emotionally distant. It kinda felt like he wasn’t really there in my life even though he was. But he never showed emotions. Feelings are just overreactions and nothing good comes out of them. Don’t get me wrong I love my family but holding this inside has been absolutely terrible. I grew up emotionally closed off. I am at the point in my life that I can’t show people I care about them because the emotions and ways to show it were never used with me. But I know that I should talk about it and let it out but I fear what will happen. What stopped them? Why do I need to talk about it? I’m not weak. But I’m not okay either. I just don’t know what to do. I want to make my grandfather proud but idk how to feel. I miss him so much and as the more important things go on I just feel like something is missing. Him not being at something special to me was the hardest part and I just hurt everytime I think of it. Like all this I have to do without him. But the circle continues unfortunately.

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