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ghostprincen
562 M Embraced 4
PathStep 101 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts28 Forum upvotes45 Current upvotes45 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2017 Member sinceJuly 2, 2015
Bio
My name is Lee. I'm Puerto Rican, 19 years old, an abuse survivor, queer, and transgender (my pronouns are he/him/himself or they/them/themself). I'm learning to cope with depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and trauma one day at a time. I love art, animation, and nintendo games.
Recent forum posts
Was it abuse...? ****Trigger Warning****
Trauma Support / by ghostprincen
Last post
 April 22nd, 2017
...See more Just to forwarn you all I'm going to go into a bit of detail about what happened to me as a kid and into my adult years. Trigger warning for csa. So my partner is also a victim of csa and about a year ago I told her that my mother made me uncomfortable because she would always ask for physical affection like kisses and for me to sit on her lap. At this point in time I was 18 already and my partner said what my mother was doing was pedophilic. I started looking back at my childhood critically and I agree with her that it was, but so often I find myself denying that it happened to me at all. Now I'm almost 20 and I do not have any connection to my family any longer so I've had a chance to look at things more critically. I believe what I went through was sexual abuse but I don't want to talk to people I know about it, I would rather look for validation here. Honestly I just need for someone to validate me and tell me that I'm not making all this up. So, as a kid my mother was pretty normal if not over affectionate, she even watched me shower. I don't remember her touching me, just watching me shower. When I started hitting puberty she'd make comments about my breasts, like how when I bent over I had a cleavage, or how big my breasts would be when I got older. At 11 I stopped allowing her to shower me and see me naked. She'd still get upset when I would ask her to leave my room because I was changing. She said she was my mother and allowed to see me naked. I wouldn't move until she left. She always asked me to give her more affection than what I was comfortable with. I'd kiss her on the cheek and she'd demand more or "better" kisses. She'd demand constant hugs, even for me to sit in her lap. This went on until the very last visit I took to see my family. I truly believe what I went through was csa, I even became hyper-sexual at 11 when she stopped showering me, which I know is a sign of csa. I also have vivid flashbacks of her saying these things to me, another symptom of csa. I don't know I'd just like it if someone would acknowledge what I went through and remind me that my experiences are not made up. I'm sorry this is so long I just really need some help because I feel like I'm losing my mind.
BPD and more???
Personality Disorders Support / by ghostprincen
Last post
 February 17th, 2016
...See more Hey guys, due to an abusive family, I can't get an actual diagnosis for my bpd. My parents were unsupportive and ableist when I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, so getting another diagnosis right now is out of the question because I don't want to go through all that again! However, I've noticed that I display many symptoms of other mental illnesses, such as Paranoid Personality Disorder, OCD, and Dependent Personality Disorder. I know many of these symptoms can overlap, but I'm having trouble deciphering whether these symptoms are just from my BPD and anxiety, or whether I could actually have these illnesses. Does anyone with multiple mental illnesses in addition to BPD have advice? Thanks!
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