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fluffymarshmallowpuff
152 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceDecember 27, 2020
Bio
I am still a teenager learning how to survive in adulthood and have a lot of hobbies related to the arts!
Recent forum posts
Continuation of my last post :(
Anxiety Support / by fluffymarshmallowpuff
Last post
 December 27th, 2020
...See more Before I continue I want to give out a warning that this post contains mentions of nsfw, grooming and fetishes. So I suggest you don't read this if it makes you really uncomfortable. So this memory was when I was 15, at that time I still had this weird behavior I kept seeing in mostly boys around that age online and it made normal people uncomfortable. I don't like to explain what that behaviour is but most teenagers were like this in some point of their lives but that depends on the person. That age I still absorbed behaviour from other teens and I thought that it would make me cool for some reason? I absorbed and observed others online to make up my identity, my hobbies, finding my friends. I used to engage in roleplays at 13 and had these inappropriate roleplays with teens my age and I didn't ever say no but it never went farther than that thankfully. I still cringe at this. So years later, I still haven't matured or grew out of that phase. I moved on from old friends but then later kept the ones that still sticked with me to this day. Life was fine until I met this one person. This 23-26 year old came into my dms to talk and get to know me, we had the same hobbies and asked about my life, he had the same connections as me which is how he found my page. Keep in mind that he already knows my age since I show my age on my bio for everyone to see that I was a minor, so there's no way that he didn't know about it. He then one day requested for nsfw art of his character he made up. I was already exposed to NSFW at such a young age so I didn't see anything wrong with this at the time. I accepted and drew his art for him. I was happy that someone older than me liked my art so much that he would ask me to draw his character. I didn't care if it was free, I was just happy that someone appreciated my work. After I finished with his art he then started to show his true colors. He forced me to draw more nsfw and when I declined he would get very aggressive with his words. I always felt bad about declining but I didn't think that there was anything wrong with his behavior. But it's not just me he wanted to take advantage of. He already had relationships like this with other minors younger than me and he would try to convince them to draw more nsfw art for him to keep for himself. Sometimes it would go farther to have an intimate relationship with that minor and I don't know any other details than that. I then started to notice this unhealthy obsession he had with a certain fetish and I would just go along with his requests. I felt very unhappy and I started to drift away from that person. One day, a callout post started to surface and it came to my dms warning me about this person. I don't wanna reveal anything else about what he did to other people but it was way worse than what I had to go through. As the dumb teenager I was, I thought it was fake and ignored it the message. The only time I completely blocked this 23-36 adult was when he drew suggestive art of one of my younger characters and that's when I felt a bit disgusted. This whole "relationship" with that person was over and I matured more and more though the years. I grew out of this disgusting phase at age 16 but the memories still stuck with me. I wish I never had access to the internet and I wish I wasn't unsupervised. My parents aren't bad people at all, they just didn't watch me very closely. I don't know if that counted as online grooming or abuse but what those kids have gone through was worse. I hope they are ok now.
Kept thinking about bad memories
Anxiety Support / by fluffymarshmallowpuff
Last post
 December 27th, 2020
...See more I have no one else to talk to and my best friend is not the person I wanna vent my problems to cause I don't wanna burden them with my own. I just want someone here that can relate to this post cause I have been feeling very lonely for a couple of weeks. So, these memories of when I was 13-16 came back since I just turned 18 in April. And for a couple of months these memories kept flooding back and forth and I don't know what to do about it? I won't go into further detail yet,b but all I can say is that I feel negative emotions over stuff I did at that age. Social media doesn't make me feel any better about it. The community has this mentality that you can't change and grow out of bad behavior and I'm starting to think it's true. It's affecting my friends too because of social media. I wanna vent to someone who has something in common with me but I don't know who. :(
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