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exuberantBranch3603
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 3, 2025
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Trust in Marriage
Relationship Stress / by exuberantBranch3603
Last post
 January 8th
...See more Hi, I’m new here and wanted to get some feedback on a situation that has been bothering me for the past 3 almost 4 years. I have caught my husband texting different women multiple times and he even met up with 2 of the women behind my back and one of them kissed him and was trying to have sex with him but he didn’t do it and I’ve talked to her over the phone about the situation and got the answers I needed but I chose to forgive him because my husband and I have 5 children one of which is not biologically his because we met in high school in 2015 and started dating, we had our first child at the age of 17 in 2016. We split 2 or 3 years after and were dating other people until 2020. I had met a guy that I liked but was not really looking to be with him for long term. he was really just a distraction for me because my husband and I always came back to each other to have sex or talk about being in a relationship again but didn’t and I got tired of it so I met a guy and we ended up having a child together and I found out that the guy had cheated so I broke things off with him as my husband and I rekindled things 2 months after having my child with that guy  we started dating again and I got pregnant back to back for 3 years. we got married in 2021 after having our second child together. I thought things were good but they weren’t behind closed doors he was talking about me to different women and texting them about sexual things and has been doing so on and off for 3 years. I forgave him because not only is he the love of my life but my kids father and has been good to them just not to me. Plus we basically have grew up together and have always had like a friendship outside of dating. if we weren’t with each other we would still be there for each other as friends. I never have stepped outside our marriage or text men behind his back. It hurts so much and he gets frustrated if I bring it up after already discussing it but sometimes things trigger my emotions and I get to overthinking and being distant towards him and he says he cheated because I’m not affectionate towards him and which I’m not I can admit that but I’m just not an affectionate person anymore due to personal trauma. Something happened to me in 2019 that change me forever. I will not say what it is because it may trigger someone but I’ve never been the same after that and he knows what happened to me so I’m not sure as to why he wouldn’t think about that when it comes to showing him affection or being intimate. cheating is making it worse at this point because it makes me want to keep my distance from him. I want to be that affectionate loving wife but how can I be if I have no trust for him, we do have sex but not all the time because honestly I’m just not that into it all the time unless I’m drinking or something. But I do have sex with him when he wants to even though I don’t just to please him. I don’t know what to do or say anymore about this. I do love him and want to be with him but I just don’t trust him. It’s been hard to do that even when I did start back trusting him he broke that trust again. I’m not the best wife but I try my best. 
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