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etherealnova
1 4,861 M Seeking Light 7
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts197 Forum posts29 Forum upvotes35 Current upvotes35 Age GroupTeen Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceMarch 22, 2023
Bio

hi! Im nova.

omniromantic, she/they/it and neos

ask me about my music. i will marry you if you listen to what I listen to. 

love animals <3


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     idk why you all even bother making me feel so welcome and cared for. i know you don't really care. if I disappeared nobody would notice.

     im so tired im hardly even bothering to find help

     sir chloe, lil peep, nf, mxmtoon, unknxwn, Penelope Scott, bo burnham, hosier, lil darkie, icp, mccafferty, mother mother, the front bottoms, juice world,           mindless self indulgence, arctic monkeys, the black keys, lovejoy, rebzyyx, Hollywood undead, ajj, destroy boys, sorority noise, xxxtentacion, girlinred, tylerthecreator

Dear mom, hitting your 4 year old child for crying is not ¨being a bad b1tch¨, it´s being a bad mom.
The song ¨Bugbear¨ by chloe moriondo smells like chicken noodle soup. i have synesthesia. 



Recent forum posts
Just venting, don´t want to have a conversation right now.
Trauma Support / by etherealnova
Last post
 July 1st, 2023
...See more Trigger warning: abuse? So just now, I was sitting on the couch with my brother and mom. My baby brother was getting kind of hyper and yelled a bit, and my mom jumped off the sofa, smacked him on the side of his face and pulled the headset off his head, and threw it into the other room. He started crying and she told him to shut up several times, when he couldn´t stop crying she picked him up and pushed him out the door saying ¨If you´re going to act like that, you can´t be here.¨ He screamed because he doesn´t even like being in a room without someone and being shoved out the front door isn´t very fun. She pulled him back inside, sacked him, and covered his mouth so he couldn´t scream while she yelled at him ¨You are acting disgusting, this is out of control.¨ I´m not sure whether or not I saw her hand go on his throat, but I heard him coughing and spluttering like he couldn´t breathe. That´s when I walked over to him and picked him up to properly deal with the situation without physically and verbally abusing him, and my mom pretty much just said he deserves to be left alone crying, that this is how she raised me for a decade and a half and I turned out fine. I walked away because I was tired of hearing her talk to him like that and she yelled at my baby brother, ¨I hope you can´t even *** cry someday, I wish you would go emotionless so I don´t have to deal with your disgusting attitude.¨ I started crying because that´s exactly how I turned out. I can´t feel anything except sadness or anger most of the time, and even when I want to cry I can´t. So she did this to me on purpose. She yelled some other things at him like ¨you need to be taken to a hospital for acting like this, something is seriously wrong with you.¨ and called him the r-slur. Nobody else sees this kind of behavior from her and when I tell her ¨if you don´t want other people to know, you probably shouldn´t do it.¨ she justifies it by comparing it to discipline and I feel trapped because she might be right. I´m not sure if I´m being dramatic or if I´m wrong, but I know I have no way out of it. Just venting.
I should make this a series istg
General Support / by etherealnova
Last post
 April 10th, 2023
...See more an ACTUAL conversation i just had with my mum: Me: *goes on the porch to get a bottle of water* (we keep them outside to keep them colder) my dog: *follows me outside* me: *ties her to the dog leash because she hasn´t been outside today yet* my mom: *laughs from the other room* you aren´t... actually... putting her outside? me: yeah, she followed me out so i put her on the lead. mom: why the *** would you do that? you know there´s a doordasher coming to bring us breakfast. me: oh... (i forgot but i didn't want to say that because she would have accused me of manipulating her to ruin her morning ;-;) mom: YEAH.. Haha. I don´t know why you´re trying to act stupid. You DEFiNITELY remembered that food was coming, like do you just not want me to eat? is that it? because i get enough of that from your brother. (my brother is 4 years old and does not have such malicious intents. neither do i.) i just said sorry and went to my room because i didn't have the energy to fight. i literally woke up like 3 minutes before this happened. this is very mild compared to the other conversations we have, i will post some more in the comments. my mom is very erratic.(not an accusation or judgement... just a genuine observation. she seems to think that everyone in her family secretly hates her (most of them do but not secretly for abuse reasons) and that they all want to ruin her life by asking me to move out of her house. i think she´s bipolar but i don't know how to bring it up. i don´t want to hurt her in any way, but if she IS bipolar she needs to know, and to receive help. i know it can be very harmful to one´s own health and i don't want her to go through what she may be. i feel like this right here is a type of emotional harm people don´t talk about. ive NEVER met somebody that acts like my mom does. anyways. toxic is toxic. blood doesn't change that.
oof
General Support / by etherealnova
Last post
 April 7th, 2023
...See more pov you got told you should take the "overcoming depression" course by a bot but you don't have premium........
ow.
General Support / by etherealnova
Last post
 April 22nd, 2023
...See more TW: Abuse, crisis thoughts moving back in with your abuser because you don't know what to do besides fake a smile and suck up any pain thrown your way < so uh I'm moving back in with my mom after a year of fighting to get away from her. (2nd time I've done this, 2nd time I've screwed myself over) I know we're both going to get worse and she's going to relapse. sometimes I think, "yay. more * abuse. i don't care anymore. suck it the * up." but uh. yeah. scared rn. i just told my grandma on the phone, "Yes, I am permanently moving out of your house." I feel so bad. i just. don't know what to do. I KNOW what is best for me - anything but my mom. but Im just so scrambled i don't care. i do care, I'm just too scared to act for myself. i hope i don't fall back into depression. Edited April 14, 2023
:')
Eating Disorder Support / by etherealnova
Last post
 April 1st, 2023
...See more lol pov you finally get to where you wanna get (ability to not eat for a full day+ not being hungry at all during that day) but yo mom beat you to it 💀
Since there is no "self-esteem" or "insecurity" community, I gotta throw this in the open.
General Support / by etherealnova
Last post
 March 30th, 2023
...See more You have. NO. IDEA. How not happy I am right now even though I should be. For context, I have struggled with acne and skin problems since I was around 9 years old. I woke up to do my skincare and realized my skin was nearly clear except for scars. I... it feels like I have control of my life again. I can wear tank tops again, go swimming without wearing a swimsuit coverup, change in locker rooms without having to go in the bathroom stalls, and literally live my life again. This may not be a big deal to you all but I am shocked. I have not put in any more effort than usual to my skin lately, so why it chooses now of all times to get better is... unfathomable, to say the least! Ik nobody cares but it's just such a small deal that should be big, h3ll I should be throwing myself a party. Congratulations to anyone else who has recently recovered from skin issues.
Just nothing
Newbie Hub / by etherealnova
Last post
 March 23rd, 2023
...See more booooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Boo
Trauma Support / by etherealnova
Last post
 April 4th, 2023
...See more I like, oversexualized myself when I was 10-13. I tried to fit in with everyone. I put hoodies and sweats over my tank tops and shorts in winter so my mom would miss me freezing myself to look hot to that one girl I hyper-fixated on. Damn.
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