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easySouth1385
148,291 M New Horizon 1
PathStep 208 Compassion hearts1,460 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes27 Current upvotes27 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceDecember 10, 2015
Bio

at that lost, confused, and lonely stage in life…🥺



Recent forum posts
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Please make the chats easier to chat in.
Site Updates / by easySouth1385
Last post
 May 5th, 2022
...See more I’m really tired of not getting notifications when someone messages me. I’m tired of the chats being difficult to chat in. This makes listeners take advantage of the members vulnerable situation and have members go to an outside platform. A lot of the listeners lately have been trying to take advantage of members in distress and then have them message you on another app then send inappropriate pictures or have “phone sex” or be in a relationship virtually because the listeners are lonely. A lot of them will listen to the members for a while just to gain their trust when in reality they have a hidden agenda. I urge 7cups to please have a meeting with listeners so that they refrain from these kinds of actions. 7cups need to fix the glitches of their chat function as well. Thank you. (Thread moved to this forum from the FS/CM update sub forum in 7 cups leadership community to suit its purpose, by CM Sunisshiningandsoareyou)
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I chose to play with fire
Relationship Stress / by easySouth1385
Last post
 December 14th, 2021
...See more I was getting bullied in class. This guy A in class was always trying to control who i talk to and intimidate me at any chance he gets. I guess bc he could sense I liked him made him want to try to “control” me by hanging around the girls in class or hugging them to get reaction out of me. So out of desperation I went on dating apps to find someone to keep myself distracted with. I was just going to talk and maybe have someone so guy A doesnt think he has control over me and can leave me alone. But then I met guy B and liked talking to him so much that i met him and liked him more and then he asked me on a date and i said yes. I noticed he had a deceptive side to him but i brushed it aside bc i was desperate to have someone to keep distracted with from the guy A and getting bullied in class. I noticed many red flags in guy B but i ignored it all and kept going with him. He would talk to me daily and lomb-bomb me and use future faking tactics. I was gaslighted many times and he would lie or give me flase stories just to appease me. He was a sweet talker. Little did I know I was dealing with a narcissist. But there was something about him that made me want to keep going and i was attached from the beginning. I may have been addicted? Idk why it was so hard to let him go but i was very comfortable around him. I told him everything too. He was the first guy I gave a chance to. Fast forward to 6 months later and by now he said “i love you” and “its one of my goals to marry you”. He got intimate with me. SA happened. A week later i had to let him go bc i found out he lied to me and was bullshitting me. It was hard to hear that. I felt so spammed. He gave me false hopes and played me. How does someone do that for 6 months? A week later he made dating apps with shirtless photos of himself. A week later he added potential wives on his social media. A year after breakup he gets married to a girl who fits the description of things he critiqued me. I felt my self esteem deteriorating in comparison to her. The same things he insulted me for are the same things this girl also has. i failed my classes after the breakup. This was all during the pandemic. It was overwhelming and i grieved for more than a year. It was the hardest period of my life. I felt a rollercoaster of emotions. jealousy was an emotion that aroused and i hated it. I kept comparing and feeling bitter. Now i just feel lonely. I used to dream of a fairy tale wedding and then have 5 kids. Now i want none of that. Im lost and confused. ***To anyone who’s reading this, please listen to your gut and pay attention to red flags. Also, know that we are all here to support you if you are ever bullied or dealing with breakups or have school stress. Dont let yourself get to a point where you fail due to bad mental health. Always prioritize yourself and your studies over some guy because only education will allow you freedom and independence. Dont depend on a guy bc it opens doors for him to abuse or control you. Breakups take TIME to get over and youre allowed to vent and go in circles. Dont let anyone make you feel bad for venting and sharing your thoughts and feelings. To heal you have to allow yourself to grief, let it all out honey, be proactive and eat healthy and exercise, find hobbies, Netflix, read, sleep, take time off, spend time with family and friends, travel. Most importantly, do deep introspection and be brutally honest with yourself and take responsibilities. For example, I failed bc i prioritized a guy over my studies. I overlooked red flags bc i was desperate to have someone as support bc i was tired of having no support in school and getting bullied and intimidated by guy A. I wish I had learned to be more assertive. All in all, i wish i didn't play with fire…
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What he really means
Relationship Stress / by easySouth1385
Last post
 December 19th, 2021
...See more “i dont want to get married right now” -he dont see you as his potential life partner ”i want to get a good job first before settling down” -hes giving you hopes so he can get you to trust him so he can string you along ”i love you. Its one of my goals to marry you” -wheres the ring then? “its not you, its me.” -he doesnt like something about you, whether its physical or internal. Most of the time its a physical quality like weight or he doesnt find you attractive or is ashamed to bring you to his family all in all if a truly wants you, he will tell his family and friends and say hes in a relationship with you and post pic or status about you. He will put a ring on it and make you his. He will not leave you in the dark or let you go. Dont let yourself get dragged just bc hes bored and lonely and needs an ego boost. Hes just trying to make you love him for emotional support and ego boost. In the end, youll be the one played and burned. if youre the type to get attached by simple intimacy then do not get intimate till you know that hes sure about you. You gotta have dignity and value yourself.
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Attempted
Trauma Support / by easySouth1385
Last post
 May 6th, 2021
...See more In August, my ex tried shaming for things he tried to do back in April during Covid saying if I tell anyone it’ll only make me look bad (implying that just bc I’m a girl, I’ll look bad if I talk about it). All of our dates were in public places but in April due to Covid he invited me to his place. Because he was respectful before and comes from respectful family, I trusted him and went because it was his birthday. Things escalated to kissing but then he tried going too far and touching me “down there” even when I kept moving his hand away and kept saying no. He even got “naked” and asked if I wanted to taste “it” and were trying to teach me how to do a “handjob”. We broke up a week later. Now prior to this I’ve never even hanged out with a guy alone or even dated. I was so shocked that he was trying to shame me in august and by then I had all Pictures and messages of him deleted. I didn’t know what to do or what was happening. I was dealing with finals back in April during Covid. Now a year later, he got married. So idk what to do or how to cope or to just let it go since I didn’t let him go THAT far.
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