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dxiong2
3,395 M Seeking Light 1
PathStep 65 Compassion hearts108 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceFebruary 14, 2020
Recent forum posts
How to get back..?
Relationship Stress / by dxiong2
Last post
 April 1st, 2023
...See more I’m 27. I haven’t dated since sophomore year in high school (roughly 12 years ago). After my high school relationship, I realized that high school dating was useless and decided to just focus in school. After I graduated I continued on with that mindset and basically turned myself from an outgoing and talkative person to just a very very introverted and closed space person. Turning 27 recently, I realized a lot of people around me are getting married, starting families, and etc etc. I’m not getting and younger. But I for some reason still feel like I’m not ready to date. I tried dating in college. Went on a few dates. But it didn’t feel right. The girls I talked to were friends at first. We clicked as friends. But then when it came to a date, they put their guards up and it ends up being a quiet and awkward date. I shut myself down after that again and just focused on graduating college. Is dating a decision? Or does it just come naturally? And how do you know if your ready? I sound desperate. But I don’t think I am either. I’m not no Ted Mosby. But my end goal is the same as him I think. Meet the one and get married and start a family. But I don’t see marriage in my future. And I can’t see dating in it either. Am I just one of those people who wants to be alone? Could use some advice. I think I’m just over thinking this out.
New career choice
Work & Career / by dxiong2
Last post
 April 5th, 2023
...See more I recently took into consideration of going back to school and getting a second bachelors in Computer Engineering. I graduated with a BS in Graphic Design. Then I told myself I would make a name for myself in my 5 year plan. It took me 2 and a half years to find my first graphic design job and then even now currently working there, I hardly do any graphic design related stuff. I just do mainly production and general labor stuff. So, after all this anxiety and depression just built up about not just sticking with what I should’ve just done because I was good at it versus what is just now clearly a hobby for me, I decided to go back to school. 27 years old. I feel like an old geezer. Submitted my application today and fingers cross I get accepted. Even if I don’t, I am happy to just know I went this far. I have always fought with depression and anxiety since graduating. And I feel like this is a step I should take. Even though I am still battling with it, maybe doing something that challenges my head and my brain will get my away from my worrying thoughts about the future.
Did I make the right choice?
Anxiety Support / by dxiong2
Last post
 March 10th, 2021
...See more Recently, I quit my job to focus on my career. I have been working non stop for 3 years doing general and hard labor work. I would quit one and start a new job the next day to make money for bills. After some time, I decided I have to take the initiative and start working on my career goal or else my college degree would’ve been pointless. But even after quitting, things aren’t going the way I thought or imagined it to go like. My savings was only enough for me to pay off all my bills for about 2 months, working at door dash was my alternative but because there has been an increase of dashers around my area, I barely about to secure 2-3 hours of delivery time a day. I would literally only make enough to cover 1-2 bills a week and fill my gas up once a week. I thought I was ready, but now I’m feeling doubt. My anxiety is starting to kick in again. Not to mention today I received some bad news about my grandma too. So I’m in a rollercoaster. I felt so happy and eager to leave my job and get some time to focus on my works but instead all I’ve been doing is trying to find ways to pay bills again. I thought about just repoing my car and avoid making car payments to save some money but then I won’t have a car to dash. Things always gets too complicated around me. I feel like I have no motivation to continue my career nor do I have any motive to do anything anymore.
A bit confused
Anxiety Support / by dxiong2
Last post
 March 27th, 2020
...See more So I felt everything was starting to go normal. I finally connected with a therapist online (even though it was only 30 minutes and there weren't that many time for me to explain to her everything) but she gave me some helpful tips. So now, about 3 days after everything was going fine until after I had my dinner. I, for some reason, started getting anxious and stressed for no reason. I literally was not doing anything but playing a game and watching television. So the question is: is the game I'm playing causing me to feel stressed even though its not even a stressful game? Or is my stress and anxiety coming from technology as a whole? I need to distance myself from social media because I feel like with my anxious self, I can't take the coronavirus news anymore or I'll feel more stressed. But at the same time, if I'm not using social media to connect with people in our state of condition right now(city currently on a lockdown so everyone is limited on going out or hanging out), I will feel like I'm distancing myself from everyone and running away from everything. Everything is literally closed because essential stores. I can't even go to my favorite spot for a walk because they've closed down the area for construction and the virus. I'm literally just so confused about everything right now.
A bit crappy and annoyed
Anxiety Support / by dxiong2
Last post
 March 22nd, 2020
...See more This whole week kind of sucks. My blood test appointment to see if I have high blood pressure was cancelled because of the virus. Then what I thought was my first day of therapy to help me relieve my anxiety was just a follow up to refer me to another insurance company to help me set up for therapy, which was no help because they said they were going to email me a list of provided therapist in my area but never did. So now my anxiety is spiking up again. I just want to get this over with and get my life back on track. Not to mention my city is currently on a lockdown too for the time being therefore it makes it harder for me to try to do stuff to get my mind off of things. My new workplace is still opened because we deliver stuff to people in this time of need. However my new boss said that I'm moving pretty slow for my beginner routes and it terrifies me because all I could think about is "Man, I might get fired if I don't pick up my pace." Work stress was the reason I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder a month ago, therefore I have random hits of panic attacks and crap because I tend to overthink everything. It's been a month and a half and I feel like my doctors haven't really tried to help me with my therapy stuff. On top of that, I was lied to that the flat rate for visiting the ER a month ago was 550, and then received a call a few days ago saying that I still owe 1200 for the visit because they gave me a whole but of exams and and IV bag that I never really asked for. I mean, I was uninsured for a while so they should've taken that into consideration before giving them out and charging me. So right now I am just sitting on my bed and writing this thread. I feel like when I need help the most, everything is coming down on me. I eventually have to help myself and do things myself because the people that are supposed to help me are too busy with everything else. I mean I don't blame them; it's crazy around the world right now. I blame myself for the actions I did a month and a half ago that made me this way today. I just want some help. I have done so many "at home" remedies and they aren't helping much anymore. It's time for the professional help.
Affecting my daily life
Anxiety Support / by dxiong2
Last post
 March 9th, 2020
...See more My first time having a panic attack was about a month ago when I thought I was going to be fired from work for calling in sick the day before. I had a panic attack at work the next day but was able to calm myself down because I didn't know what it was. I thought I might just have had a bad stomach ache. Since then I have been finding it difficult to go through with my daily life. I have trouble breathing sometimes because it will resurface out of no where. Everyone said that there is a trigger, and I know my trigger is work stress related but my mind still wonders around. My doctor has said that there is nothing wrong with me and that my heart and lungs sounds healthy, but then threw in a bombshell saying I might have high blood pressure. So my attempt to feel better about myself from a professional stand point down falled on me when they said I might have this instead. I mean, it's a "might." But still, it sucked hearing that. Now I need to get my blood tested to see if I do have it. But I still have these side effects from anxiety and panic attacks. Every so often I would have difficulty breathing out of no where and my heart beat will be increasingly high. I would have upset stomachs and my body will ache all over because of everything. I cannot sleep. More like nowadays I am afraid to sleep. I don't know what it is but everything around me is just bothering me. I have to wait 2 weeks to meet with a therapist only to see if I need to continue therapy after the first one (so it kind of sounds like a quick check up instead of a therapy session.) I haven't been able to eat lately either because I do not know what to eat with all these news hitting me at once. I was perfectly fine and was calling 2020 my year just a month ago until this happened. Now I live in fear for my next panic attack and the thought that this will be with me for a very, very long time.
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