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dreamforward
1,557 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 71 Compassion hearts129 Forum posts101 Forum upvotes133 Current upvotes133 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2018 Member sinceJune 10, 2015
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best friend not forever
Relationship Stress / by dreamforward
Last post
 July 2nd, 2017
...See more I just really miss my best friend. We got in a fight months ago and I can't make it up to her. I understand that. I've apologized and we're over. Even now I'm still sad and lonely. I think about her like almost every day. So many things remind me of what we used to do together. I lost a big part of myself and it's so difficult.
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a friendship break up or worth saving.
Relationship Stress / by dreamforward
Last post
 December 21st, 2016
...See more I have a long time friend of six years. Like everything we've had our ups and downs but with this latest "bump" I'm having second thoughts about us. I don't want to say it's abusive or unhealthy or toxic becacuse this person has been with me through a lot of terrible things and supported me through like self-destructive moments. but here is a list of some red flags of the Big Break. 1. a friend of theirs, not mine, bad mouthed me passive aggressively in public to them. they took their friend's side, saying it was only socially awkward at worst. she wanted me to take the high road, but also does not think her friend took a "low road" to speak. she blamed the public awkward position she was placed in on me, not on the friend who brought the conversation up in the first place. 2. i accepted that as we have different friends they can hold that feeling but i hoped at least that they could heat out my side. all they wanted was for the conversation to end after i said smth like "yes ofc we see things differently." 3. when i pressed to explain my hurt feelings about it, they said they couldn't sympathize at all and that they could maybe empathize. they did not even consider asking how i felt until i brought it up. the conversation took a turn here bc they seemed to be under a lot of pressure? i was rly trying to be understanding about them not taking my side though. 4. after that i apologized and they asked for a break bc i was too much. 5. but bc of an emergency i decided that the break was worth putting aside for a small message of love and i did it. i told her at even tho we're on a break i wanted to know i was thinking about her during this tough time. she responded that she considered messaging me. 6. now that we're trying to make up she 6a. said we're in the same both because we both sat on our hands about reaching out first (not true....I actually did reach out?) 6b. said we can be friends again if I don't hold anything against her and put any pressure on her. 7. we're basc still on a break but taking it slow and so far have an optimistic outlook BUT she kept emphasizing that i was the one pushing the fix to go too fast, even when I was trying to be considerate. she doesn't want to talk or resolve what happened in the past, she just wants to forget it even though i want to talk about it (but i'm willing to try to put it in the past too). i feel like i'm signining a contract to never acknowledge my past hurt again bc doing so will hurt her feelings. 8.. bonus info: she said she missed me because she wanted someone to talk nightmares with, meanwhile i've been having nightmares about us for the past weeks we've been on a break I know we're both going through tough times right now, physical and mental health wise so I want to give her a break. But I'm also scared? Of messing up? And I don't know if messing up is staying with her or not. I've talked to some people about it and no one thinks it's abusive, just inconsiderate of her, but I'm still trying to be with her against our mutual friends' advice. So I think I just need some help from complete strangers. On how to see this? How to deal with her without damanging myself, her or what we have.
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phone calls
Anxiety Support / by dreamforward
Last post
 July 19th, 2015
...See more this is mostly for customer service or other situations involving strangers. i am usually not that comfortable on the phone with friends anyway (bad signals i guess?? idk. im afraid of misreading them but i always am). it is especially unnerving to call customer service and the like. even if i know they will probably just read a script? that's sort of scarier idk. does anyone have any tips about how they deal with phone related situations that can't be avoid? like interviews, rescheduling, etc. how do you prepare yourself? or do you just try to find other ways out and what are good alternatives?
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angry
Relationship Stress / by dreamforward
Last post
 September 1st, 2016
...See more i keep retelling our story like i am the villain bc i hurt you. i try to excuse you as much as I can bc i feel guilty. but you hurt me too. im pretending to be a bigger person than i am.
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friendship problems
Relationship Stress / by dreamforward
Last post
 July 5th, 2015
...See more two weeks ago, i had a chat with a friend that turned out badly. i had been inadvertently hurting her feelings with some things i said about a fandom (even when i thought i was bonding over it). it was a fandom that i have tried to distance myself from but she recently fell in love w it again. at first i tried to steer the conversation away from it, but she said that wasnt fair. and eventually it led to our sort of fight in which she addressed that my attitude was hurting her.i felt really guilty for days bc i didn't mean to hurt her, i wasnt a good enough listener (plus i was v depressed at the timr already) . we are long distance friends in different time zones so we don't chat often and even tho i did apologize i dont know if we can still be the same. im hurt that she would think i am the type of person to look down on her and im hurt that she implied her supporting me thru depression and self harm in the past means i owe her this. since a fandom is minor in comparison. and i feel guilty about being hurt bc it started out with my hurting her. :// we haven't really spoken. i dont know how much to reach out or give her space. and my trust issues are telling me that she won't ever truly forgive me. even tho that's not a fair assumption to make. idk how we went from best friends to thinking that i would talk down to her and thinking that she would leave me over not sharing a fandom, but i think that is where we are now. im coming to terms with not trying to punish myself or blame me or her but this limbo is extremely lonely. i have tried to talk to others about it and they're just sick of the topic. i haven't felt this isolated in a while.
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