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daisylee
97,384 M Marching Ahead 10
PathStep 93 Compassion hearts803 Forum posts92 Forum upvotes145 Current upvotes145 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2020 Member sinceMay 24, 2015
Recent forum posts
I feel like my heart is shattered
Trauma Support / by daisylee
Last post
 February 21st, 2017
...See more Hi everyone, I hope you are all finding the little moments in the day that make you smile, and hugs to comfort your hearts. I have a very heavy heart today, and its because of my mother. She has a birthday on Friday, and she had surgery last week for her heart. I have not talked to her in a long time for my physical safety and my mental health. But, I still feel tore up inside with guilt that I was not there for her during her surgery. But, at the same time she doesnt love or value me in any way. She alowwed all the abuse to happen in my house and didnt do anything to stop my family from hurting me, and then she didnt believe they ever did hurt me. I have all of this "Yuck" in my chest, I am fighting a war in my heart, and either way I am losing. Also, I am having nightmares and flashbacks again and not sleeping very well. I just want to be loved and accepted, and not treat myself like the bad guy any more... I would so appreciate it if some of you would help me calmly focus, see where the truth actually is in all this mess, and feel love again.
I am so glad you are here.
Trauma Support / by daisylee
Last post
 February 4th, 2017
...See more My name is Daisy, and I have been here for quite awhile and never quite new where I fit in. I had a lot of childhood and teenage trauma that I blocked and hid away for a really long time. Now I am doing the best I can to slowly unravel the hurt and put the broken pieces of my heart back together. I know this is a daily check in, so I guess I wont write about my troubles anymore... I am having a reasonable day, my moms birthday is coming up and I dont associate with her, and the event usually triggers nightmares and flashbacks, so I am kind of scared. But day by day we travel this road together, right? Take care all of you, thank you for making this forum.
Sometimes healing is really hard.
Trauma Support / by daisylee
Last post
 February 3rd, 2017
...See more I have been part of 7 cups for awhile now, and I am learning how to heal and grow from a childhood of sexual and physical abuse. I have been in counseling for about 18 months, and I am learning to love myself, but I sometimes have trouble. This week is my father and my sister's birthdays and I am having alot of flashbacks and nightmares. My father molested me from the age of four until about 8 and after that he would expose me to pornography and his own body well into my teen years. My sister was very mean and would lose her temper at the smallest thing and would take it out on me, screaming at me and beating me. Most of the time, my coping strategies work, I am able to calm myself down fairily easy, and give myself the love and understanding that others cannot or wont give me. However this week is so difficult. I am remembering things like they just happened, and I am dreaming about bieng chased by my sister or father and bieng blamed, that all the abuse was because I was such a terrible child and I deserved it. I am trying to reach out to this community and others that I trust for help, because honestly, I feel like a small, lost, wreched child that no one cares for or even remembers. Thank you for reading this.
reframe this thought...I am shameful
General Support / by daisylee
Last post
 September 23rd, 2016
...See more I have trouble believing that I am worthy of love and acceptance from others even though I am obese.
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