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crimsonOcean5665
658 M Embraced 5
PathStep 15 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceFebruary 17, 2015
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Please help me!!!!!! Im hurt, confused, lonely, depressed, and want to die!!!!
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I need help fast
Depression Support / by crimsonOcean5665
Last post
 March 16th, 2021
...See more Found out my wife had cervical cancer about six months ago while she was injured and out of work for a few months. She went out of town from where we live or from where I live by myself now back to our home town for her treatments. I thought everything was going fine until last week out of nowhere as she was finishing the last of her treatments she sent me a text and said she wasn't in love with me anymore and wasn't coming home. She said she had been planning on leaving me before she got injured. Going through some papers today I found out she has been hiding a lot from me mostly financial stuff for a long time, but I also found out she relapsed back to shooting up because I found needles she must have got high and forgot about. Anyway back to me, I mental illnesses that I have been fighting with my entire life. I have depression, bi polar disorder, and suicidal thoughts. I also have PTSD that I have had for nearly 15 years now. So, even just a tiny little hurt to a normal person hurts me so much worse. Even when things are going great and I should be happy i still think of ending my life daily. I don't want to be alone. I have no friends. I have no family. I have been sober for 5 years which is the longest i have been clean since I was 8 years old. So I can't go to a bar. I don't believe in a god so Im not going yo church. Im not going to any 12 step meetings, Ive made it 5 years clean by staying away from as many addicts as possible. My wife may have only left me last week but I haven't seen her in over 5 months and I haven't slept with her in nearly a year. I need to find a woman to hang out with to help keep my mind off everything.
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