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convivialCurrent1937
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 14, 2024
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Estranged from parents
Family & Caregivers / by convivialCurrent1937
Last post
 October 12th
...See more Two years ago I decided to cut contact with my parents. I don't want to go into full detail why I made that decision as there are many reasons which would take a very long time to type out. A shortened version is my mum kicked me out of the house because i went out and wouldnt tell her where (I was 28) and then when I moved out she proceeded to make false allegations about me to other family members and then told lies about trying to unalive herself. Unfortunately this isn't bad mental health, just years of awful behaviour finally coming to a point that I could no longer accept. Although he has calmed down a lot as he has gotten older my dad used to be a very violent and angry man. Never violent to me, but towards my mum - who would tell me he do the same things to me when I was older 😳 Most of the time I'm happy with my decision. I accept that my parents will never change their behaviours and that they don't see anything wrong in the things they've done and that contact with them will only cause me more stress and pain. However, they're getting older now (I think 65 and 70), so they don't have all the time in the world left. I can't help but wonder if I'll regret my decision after they're gone and it's too late. And then I look around and see other parents treating their children with kindness and I just wonder what's so wrong with my parents that they don't even care to speak to their kids. I know i cut contact, but my parents dont speak to my brother and come up with lies like not having his phone number (i gave it to them and when my brother called my dads phone my brothers name came up 🤨) My mum says he talks to much so she doesn't want to speak to him. Yes, he can be a lot, but that's her son! I just don't understand why any parent would act this way. But I have to just accept it. I can't change them. I just hate that I know the way they are has shaped me as a person. The only person I can really talk to about my parents is my brother because he's the only person who understands how they act and what they've done. I dont know, I just think people can't comprehend that anyone could just not care about their kids. Like, we were watching a documentary about a murderer a few weeks ago and his mum was calling him and visiting him in prison and my brother said 'that guy murdered someone, and his mum treats him better than our mum treats me.'  sorry for the lack of structure in this post, i just needed to have a vent!
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