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confusedxtrapped
3,857 M Seeking Light 3
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts132 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2023 Member sinceAugust 22, 2022
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General Support / by confusedxtrapped
Last post
August 9th, 2023
...See more I suffered a lot because of school. It doesn't help that my teacher told me to just s.u.c.k it up. I have to face every situation that could bring me a great deal of anxiety and frustration and they brush it off like it was nothing, forcing me to just face them even if it could hurt me. Y'know how mental/emotional pain has the same, some even say worse effect on us compared to physical pain. How hypocritical of them to call themselves a child friendly school when they continuously demean students with grades, competition, verbal and emotional abuse, high expectations, unreasonable discipline, etc.
Feel like I'm suffering alone
Depression Support / by confusedxtrapped
Last post
July 26th, 2023
...See more For about a year I've been suffering from mental breakdowns due to school. I wouldn't concern myself with this trivial stuff if it isn't for this body. I wouldn't stress if I'm homeless if I don't have a body. Wouldn't stress just because I didn't eat. Won't have a bad mood if I'm not sleeping well or eat well. Wouldn't get hurt. Wouldn't feel pain. Wouldn't be physically tired which affect my mental health. In short, I suffer because of this flesh prison I happen to be caged upon. I try not to put the blame onto my bio parents as they seem to genuinely love me, they only seem pretty ignorant. I see them as the suit makers. I often ask what I do wrong to be born into this limiting material world. Am I punished for something I do when I exist as a formless entity? Is there an evil actor behind all this? Imprisoning souls into bodies and stuff. My questions are still left unanswered. I feel alone in my thoughts. I hate the fact that I'm a social animal and that I need company in order for me to not feel pain in my chest. Yet, I can't find anyone to relate to. This post will probably mostly get ignored as so little people can relate to it. Well, toodaloo.
I hate conventional school #long rant
Depression Support / by confusedxtrapped
Last post
September 4th, 2022
...See more I know I should've posted this on student and career support but I think this fits here more because school has made me feel low about myself. I never feel interested in school even until now. Once, I failed a class when I was six to seven years old that make me held back by one year. That affected my current self-esteem. I always got into trouble with every school I went to. I won't go into details but I consider myself an oddball. When Covid 19 starts, I was actually thriving with online school. I got decent grades that make me rank in the top 5 of 35 in class (10th grade at that time). That moment I knew my future will be good enough but that didn't last for long. Currently in 11th grade, school has become fully offline and I periodically (or frequently) had mental breakdowns, we're only in the first semester! How could I not? My room is the only thing that can make me feel safe, I was emotionally vulnerable at that time. Things like grades, "competition" with other students, homework, schoolwork, tests, group work, too many activities, the expectations of teachers and so many things I hate about school overwhelmed me. The fact that I had to do this 9 hours per 5 days depresses me. Only add salt to injury the fact that I still need to get a job after graduating from higher education just to get food and shelter. I don't deserve to live apparently. I never asked to be born in this exploitative hellhole, why would I? But suffering is guaranteed when I'm born just because two stupid primates had sex? Damn, I hate those dumb folks who gave birth to me. In case you're wondering, yes I have a problem with victim mentality.
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