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cherrymalt01
883 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts185 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupTeen Last activeJune, 2024 Member sinceMay 15, 2021
Bio

Hello (*´∀｀*)
Cherry, they/them
I write a lot of short poems to try to vent my feelings, and I like to read, draw, and bake as well (´ω`)

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Recent forum posts
ADVICE APPRECIATED: sporadic depressive episodes
Depression Support / by cherrymalt01
Last post
 March 29th, 2023
...See more TW: discussion of depression and su*cide ideation. i'll try to keep it as non-detailed as i can, but please make sure your own well-beings are okay! i have no official mental illness diagnoses, although i did try to get one for gad last year because it was pretty clear i have it. i don't think i have a depressive disorder, but sometimes i'll get really extreme depressive episodes. each episode usually lasts around 3-4 days at most, but on average it's just a day or so. i do have some symptoms of depression on a regular basis, most likely from stress, but during one of these "episodse," it gets to the point where it's so bad, the su*cide ideation is elevated to a point where i am in a place of danger. it's really, really scary to me because i have little to no control over my emotions or thoughts during these moments, and when everything has settled down i get really upset because i'm scared one day i'll really end up going through with it during an episode. i'm in a very stressful point of my life right now, but i've never had sporadic, intense mood declines like this. i don't know what this is. does anyone know what might be happening to me?
Looking for advice- Friend is suffering from abusive parents
Family & Caregivers / by cherrymalt01
Last post
 May 23rd, 2021
...See more Hello, I'm not quite sure if I'm in the right place but if anyone could help it'd be really appreciated!! I know someone who's- honestly, their parents are just abusive, plain and simple. Physically and psychologically both. He's been belted and beaten with a thin bamboo switch (how often this happens, I don't know). His parents pressure him to skip his meals, and constantly overload him with academic work to the point where he's burning out. He has to get up at 6:30AM to do things and as a result only gets around 4 and a half hours of sleep per day (he would only need to get up at 8 to get to school on time). He gets told that he's a disappointment and has basically just an extraodinary amount of pressure from his parents. It's arguable that it's a "cultural difference" of course, since he and his parents are East-Asian and there tends to be a lot of pressure to do well academically. Lots of kids have faced light physical punishment but this is extreme in my opinion. He's a minor, as well, so I don't know what can be done. If anyone has advice on what I could do to help him, it would be greatly appreciated !! xx, Cherry
Social Anxiety - My Current Experience
Anxiety Support / by cherrymalt01
Last post
 May 23rd, 2021
...See more I'd like to start this off by saying that I have never been diagnosed for any mental illnesses or disorders, which includes social anxiety. However I do have several issues that are similar to social anxiety symptoms so I thought this would be the best category to put it under (this is NOT a self-diagnosis, I am not claiming to have social anxiety, I'm sorry if the title is misleading). I have a friend- let's call her Madeleine. I met her a year ago, when we first came to the school we go to now. Madeleine's got a very small number of friends, only three including me. The other two friends- I'll call them Rai (pronounced "ray") and Letta- knew Madeleine before all of us transferred to this new school. I recently met Rai and Letta (through a group chat, due to the pandemic), and we video called each other for the first time yesterday. Rai and Letta are in my class this year, but because of the pandemic, we didn't really know each other. I got extraordinarily anxious about the call and for the entirety of it was panicked/nervous. I'm not good with new people whatsoever, and it can takes months for me to warm up to them. I constantly think that I'll mess up something and that they'll judge me, or even hate me. So during the video call with Madeleine, Rai, and Letta, I stayed silent for the most part because a) I was nervous to the point where I couldn't speak without great, great efforts and b) I didn't want to interject their conversation because I felt like an intruder. The three of them knew each other long before I did, and it felt like I was "crashing the party," so to speak. I can't get it out of my head that they find me awkward and nosy, because I was the one who had asked Madeleine if I could meet them. I'm terrified of the next time we'll have to call because it just feels like I'm butting into other people's business and being clingy. When I talk it feels like I'm trying to hard for attention or I'm attempting to fit in where I'm not needed. I feel like an outsider in the group because I'm- new, I guess? They've been nothing but lovely, of course, but I can't quite seem to shake that dreadful feeling. I suppose this was just a vent, please leave a comment below, or if you have any advice it'll be greatly appreciated! xx, Cherry
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