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cauchyimpersonator
1 283 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes18 Current upvotes18 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceMarch 5, 2021
Bio
Mathematics Honours student from India. I read fiction books and listen to old songs.
Recent forum posts
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Loving again.
Relationship Stress / by cauchyimpersonator
Last post
 March 27th
...See more I once loved someone, a very long time ago(let's call her M). But then she left me. I have never loved anyone the way I loved her. I have played around with the idea of moving on, but mostly by dating others, and it was never truly serious from my end. I have moved to a different city, made new friends, loved someone else but didn't really try to admit it or make an effort to be with them. I have started liking someone else. A very close friend. I am thinking of telling her how I feel. But a voice inside my head keeps telling me that I would never really love anyone the way I loved M, and vice versa. Is it a good idea to admit my feelings to my friend if deep down I'm convinced that M is the person I'm meant to be with? This idea that M is The One for me seems ancient and I'm making an effort to move on.
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Still not over her
Relationship Stress / by cauchyimpersonator
Last post
 December 24th, 2022
...See more The love of my life broke up with me two and a half years ago. I have had other relationships since then, but I have never gotten over her. Not one day has passed by that I didn't think of her. I can't seem to be able to get over her, and I'm not sure if I want to. She was my best friend. She was my everything. I made mistakes, but I have worked on myself since then. I have tried to become a better person. I have changed since she broke up with me. But I don't know where she is. Haven't seen her in three years. Haven't spoken to her in so long that I have forgotten what it's like to hear the sound of her laughter when I said something funny. I have her voice notes, her pictures, that I see and listen to at times. I have forgotten her touch, the way she smelled, how I felt when I touched her. I miss the inside jokes, the feeling of happiness, and everything else about her. I know I should get over her. It's the right thing to do. But I can't. She made me happy in a way that I have never felt before she came into my life. How can I forget that?
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Unresolved feelings for my ex-girlfriend
Relationship Stress / by cauchyimpersonator
Last post
 July 19th, 2022
...See more I(24M) am in a relationship with a girl(26F) from my class in my university. It's been only a few months. It was really difficult for us to get together in the beginning because she had a boyfriend at the time we met. She cheated on him with me. She wasn't happy in that relationship. After that, they broke up and now I'm with her. I am happy with her. She's very nice, happy, talkative, cheerful and extroverted. She's great in bed. I am very comfortable around her and vice versa. We enjoy spending time together. The problem is, I'm not madly in love with her. I don't want to spend all my day with her. I do want my own space at times. I realise it's the healthier thing to do, so I guess that's not a problem. The problem is, my ex-girlfriend, who was my closest friend for a year and whom I was madly in love with, wanted to spend the rest of my life with, thought was the One, broke up with me two years ago during the lockdown. I cried over her and was hung up on her for two years. After lockdown ended, and I met more people in my new university, I found my current girlfriend and fell for her. But I still think about my ex-girlfriend. I am not in contact with her, but I do think about her. My guess is, I'm not madly in love with my current girlfriend because I have been trying to replace my ex-girlfriend with her, which is a very stupid and selfish thing to do. But I don't know what to do. I could do anything for her(ex-girlfriend), and I still can. I don't if I miss our relationship more or our friendship more. I'd like to have our friendship back. I wrote a letter to her but haven't been able to send it yet. It's not a romantic letter at all. It's an apology letter for the mistakes I made during our relationship. I want to send it, but I feel I'd be cheating on my current girlfriend if I did that. I don't know what to do.
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Dazed and confused.
Depression Support / by cauchyimpersonator
Last post
 November 23rd, 2021
...See more I feel sad. There's no particular reason for it. Usually I'm in a state of complete anxiety, but luckily, I'm not now. Tackling depression is somewhat easier than anxiety. It's like when you're in an accident but luckily your insurance covers everything. I mean, you won't be able to walk for two weeks, but at least you can afford the luck induced holiday because you didn't have to pay for the hospital. Is the metaphor/joke getting stretched too far? Sorry about it. Sometimes humor is my way of dealing with depression. Hawkeye and Chandler taught me that. They also taught me a lot about women, but you'd need their hair to pull those lines off. Also, they aren't real, so maybe they don't work after all. I'll stick with my own lines. They seem to work on women when I try. That was a huge detour from an otherwise depressing rambling of a hugely flawed and irrational man. Writing helps. Or rather, typing helps. Maybe I should write on a blog. I think I'm funny. I've been exposed good old fashioned American comedies for a long time, and hopefully some of it will rub off. I wrote blogs instead of Twitter. I'm not old, but my mind was running through the non 4K videos of good old 90s. I think I need therapy. Too expensive at the moment. Talking helps. But everyone else is so dense about the important things in life. Most people don't know who Miles Davis or Chopin were. Hardly anyone reads these days. It's difficult to find people who you can talk to. Maybe I'm just too condescending in a Frasier Crane sort of way. Perhaps I need to try some Chilean sea bass with an aggressive Zinfandel. Later. ✌🏼
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Worried and confused.
Anxiety Support / by cauchyimpersonator
Last post
 August 23rd, 2021
...See more I finally got selected for admission for my Master's degree in one of the best colleges for Mathematics in my country. I always assumed that this would finally make me happy, but somehow I still can't be. The tuition fee is a lot, so I'm worried about the student loan. In any case, even getting selected in this college was a big deal for me. I guess I told myself I'd be happy if I get selected because I thought I wouldn't, and this would be a good excuse for being sad, because I was sad anyway. I'm still upset about breaking up with my first love. It's been over a year, and I still feel bad about it. Or maybe I'm lonely. I seem to be confused about everything right now.
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Sorrow.
Depression Support / by cauchyimpersonator
Last post
 April 17th, 2021
...See more There is a cat in our neighborhood who gave birth to four kittens last year. Around the same time, a cyclone occurred here. So I kept the four kittens in my room for about a month. After a while, they left. Then two of them came back. Permanently. I gave them food, they slept on my bed, ran inside the house. Although I made them leave before I was about to sleep. They were very close to me, especially the brown, male kitten. He died two months ago. He was paralyzed and stopped and eventually died. I didn't cry, or express any emotions. I was numb. But recently I've been feeling very depressed and didn't know why. I keep petting stray cats whenever I see them. I keep opening my balcony door fifteen times a day like I used to before, when the kitten was outside and would run into my home when he saw me. Somehow I managed to figure out that the death of the kitten is the reason for my being depressed, or more depressed than usual. I loved him a lot.
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Angry.
Relationship Stress / by cauchyimpersonator
Last post
 March 13th, 2021
...See more I have(had) a friend from college. We liked each other the first time we met in college back in 2018. We were sort of together for a month back then but then she ended things because things were getting too serious for her. It took some time for the awkwardness to pass through, but eventually we became friends again. We had a lot of similar interests, and we were in the same class, so we talked about things. I was in a relationship with someone else then. But all of a sudden, a month ago, she stopped talking to me. Cut me off completely. I felt afraid that maybe I insulted or hurt her in some way. I apologized but didn't get any response back. Then one of her friends told me that her new boyfriend doesn't like her talking to me, so she stopped talking to me and blocked me on Instagram. It is not a big deal, but I expected her to be honest with me because I always thought we were friends. I am still angry at her about this and will be for as long as this continues.
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