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carefreeRose1118
13,344
L Supporter 5
5 star rating
Rating
Number of ratings13 Number of reviews11 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish Listener sinceApr 3, 2022 Last activeover 6 months ago GenderFemale PathStep 32 People helped62 Chats247 Group support chats1 Forum posts20 Forum upvotes42
Bio

I am a single mother that is great at listening, asking questions, and trying to find ways to explain things. 

I am in college. I have 2 autistic children. I personally have experience with cptsd, depression, anxiety,  and borderline personality disorder. If I don't know a answer to a question. I will do my best to find answers.

Recent forum posts
carefreeRose1118 profile picture
Things I wish people knew I needed
Personality Disorders Support / by carefreeRose1118
Last post
 May 29th, 2022
...See more Hello, First things first My name is Rose. I was diagnosed with BPD July 2021. I have realized that not a lot of people know much about BPD and how to work or have a friendship with me. So, I decided that I was going to post somethings about things I need. 1) Understand I will have mood swings. I will realize it and say sorry but be understanding about it. 2) I need complete honesty. I would rather hear I dont know, or I will look that up rather than a lie. 3)Trust is hard for me to give. Do not take it lightly. 4)Understand that while I am nice and understanding. I do have another side of me that is complete opposite. 5)I need reassurance. A lot of it. After a fight, I need to hear the words we are okay and you mean it 6)I am human lie detector. I will notice things. 7)I am highly sensitive to words, body language, tone in your voice and body. 8) Vulnerability is hard for me. That means do not take it lightly. 9)Be up front with what I should expect from you. How to address any issues I may have and listen if I speak up. What other things do you need?
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A journey to my darkside
Trauma Support / by carefreeRose1118
Last post
 April 30th, 2022
...See more Trigger warning, this poem is about my recovery process from my SA. I wrote it to help process it but also to share so maybe it could help someone who can't explain what they are feeling. The definition of the word is unlawful sexual activity and usually sexual intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person's will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of valid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception. There is no word that defines what happens to the survivors when the verb is finished. How an agonizing pain tore my limbs apart piece by piece. How I surveyed each piece of my body from head to toe. How I wondered what made my at*acker choose me, when did my words no longer matter. How a world that was so full of bright colors became the same shade of gray. My mind and spirit were shattered as if they were made out of glass. My solid foundation was nothing to this demon that was forced upon me. My body gave up, stopped fighting the war within my mind. My body and I slipped away into a comatose state where I merely existed in the world. I was stuck in a crippling depression, stuck in time. I was standing still on the sidewalk on a busy day in the city, thinking I would rather di*. I would lie on my bed covered with several blankets to hide my body away. In my mind I was screaming, but my voice was a whisper lying that I was fine. Bathing became a tortuous event that took all life and energy out of me. I couldn’t erase the unclean feeling. How does one clean something that is not dirty on the outside? I couldn’t stand to be touched, not even by my own hand. How could I be the mother I wanted to be if no one could touch me? My children’s bathtub toys all around the bathtub ridge. Somehow when I went to work I would shove it all away--my feelings of shame, disgust, fear, pain, numbness, anger, confusion, and loss. Others described my strength and courage as amazing, but some days I had no strength or courage at all. I crumbled against the floor where I would lie and cry. I’d let my fear consume me until I couldn't bear it and I would call out for help. The voices on the other end of the line would always greet me with compassion, empathy, and became my light in my darkest moments. It felt like those voices were lying next to me, protecting me in my weakened state. Those voices walked me through the hardest parts of processing what had happened to me. Trying to start walking again but falling face first. Going from impulsively to not even being able to breath. Feeling the world out to get me and other times carefree. Healing from this word is not a straight line like a lot of people picture it. It’s rather a rollercoaster at night. Sometimes you see light and know what is to come. Other times it’s like you went backwards and you're in the dark again. In those dark moments, I could hear their voice replaying in my head. Encouraging me to keep going but it is okay to take a rest to. However, giving up wasn't a option for getting better. Because of them, I found that my voice, too, had strength and power to help myself and others like me. Do not lose hope, for those darker moments do get easier and they come less and less often. Things you felt you lost will come back. But you need to choose to heal. I hope that you hear me when I say that you are not alone in the battle. If you need someone to be your light and voice on the other line, I pray that you reach out. Darling, you're not alone in the battle. Your strength will shine even brighter than before. By carefreerose.
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Colors
Trauma Support / by carefreeRose1118
Last post
 April 21st, 2022
...See more Colors How you don't understand what you stole, All the beauty in the chaos world. Colors that were vibrating, free, excitement, and energy. Now the only color I see is grey, Feeling only numbness. Walking through life as a zombie, In the moon lite night. Appearing a live and full spunk, how I never knew that, I would miss those vibrating colors. How they thrilled my soul with ectasy. Now, I compared walking lost in search of my search of my missing part of me. You thought it'd be gone for a while. Yet, it returned back. Bloody and bruised from the war with in. Now it is stronger then ever. I will stand tall, head held high, shout to the top of my lungs. Wanting justice for things you stole. I won't back down, like a volcano erupting with it's might. I am damaged, not shattered. Your actions made me a victim, I made myself a survivor.
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Feedback & Reviews
Brilliant listener, very nice and helpful too. Thanks very much for listening to me.
A great listener
Great listener!
Asks the right questions
Rose is such a wonderful listener and cares to help!
She's great in everything , anything she says really helps me especially with my anxiety . Thank you for the wonderful things you've said , it really do helps me not only me but for everyone you've met here...i hope that all great things happen to you and your family . Thank you ms. Rose 🌹
Was kind and understanding of my situation and helped me look forward in life
Great listener, very helpful and responses were well thought!
A wonderful listener! Was able to talk me through a situation and my feelings really well.
She asked me questions, made suggestions and helped me through my issues. My issue was feeling left out and I really appreciated the fact that she had the same thing happen to her at my age and helped me through it. Overall a 5/5.
She did a very good job overall.
Categories
Depression
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LGBTQ+ Issues
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Domestic Violence
Forgiveness
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PTSD
Borderline (BPD)
Women's Issues
Self-Esteem
Spirituality
General Mental Health
Autism Spectrum
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