Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
butterflyy3
2 963 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts42 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2025 Member sinceMay 20, 2023
Recent forum posts
butterflyy3 profile picture
Is there something wrong with me ?
Relationship Stress / by butterflyy3
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more I have this hole I feel in me that I can’t even close up. I feel pretty confused. I’m dating my current bf for only 3 months now and I already feel like I’ve been messing up. My past relationship was 5 years and it hard for me bc it was super rushed and I was so young not knowing how things works and if I truly loved him or not. Even after 5 years of being with him I still feel like I can’t love or be loved. Currently after a year of being single, I’ve found a really great guy and he took me by surprise and made me feel all sorts of good. He asked me out very soon on and said I love you first. I was pressured to say it back so I did and ever since then I’ve been regretting it. I’m not there yet maybe ? Everyone is telling me I’m happier with him but recently I’ve been feeling not happy and overthinking a lot. Really pressuring myself to figure out if I love him or not. Why can’t I fully love him. I’m able to instantly care for him and be there for him but I simply have a hard time showing more affection through words like I love you. Why don’t I even accept his love? In person I feel more connected than through phones but still why do I struggling to say I love you. He does make me really happy and I find myself being more open to affection with him usually I hated to be touched all the time and hugged but he makes me feel comfortable doing so.  He now believes that when I say I don’t mean it and that he can’t tell if I’ll ever will love him. I simply in shambles and don’t know what to do or how to fix this. I don’t even know what I need for myself. I feel like I’m a cold person just self destructing good things in my life. (My family rarely told me they loved me so it’s awkward for me to say it to them or to anyone ) I know this is a long message I just don’t know what to do anymore. 
butterflyy3 profile picture
a little rant
OCD & Related Behaviors / by butterflyy3
Last post
 January 20th, 2024
...See more hi to whoever is kind enough to read this thread. i’ve been dealing with my ocd for over 3 years now. it started bc of this stupid cooking class i took which led me to my lovely friends tina (contamination ocd). don’t laugh bc i named it… life gets hard i put humour to help. anyways, since then i haven’t been myself. i’ve lost friends, had breakups and even got told the wonderful news that my ex and my best friend are dating. i want to tell myself that if they are happy i am happy but i can’t it’s not right. what happened to girl code? keep in mind me and my ex were dating almost 5 years. to be fair, i wasn’t the best gf to him or at least i saw it that way. it could of been my depression that kicked in later from my ocd. i never enjoyed anything but he kept trying and loving me. i ended up breaking up with him to focus on me and i said some poorly things to him such as i wanted to explore other ppl bc i’ve been feeling like im stuck in this continuous cycle and bubble with my ocd/depression and the fact that i might acc like girls too. i hooked up with some guy after the breakup which i deeply regret. but lots was on my mind and i lead him on the last bits of our relationship. i feel terrible that i did. i do miss him a lot bc he was my best friend and he knew me so well when i felt like i was a ghost to myself. anyways i know this isn’t anything related to my ocd. but it definitely has an impact on my life. should i even be worried about them two dating? i can’t shake the feeling that me wanting to do something for ME for once is so much worse than my best friend and ex hooking up and eventually dating.
butterflyy3 profile picture
looking for some advice or what to do for class
Student Support / by butterflyy3
Last post
 December 29th, 2023
...See more would you rather have three 8:30 am morning classes with a midday lab time or have 2 evening classes at 5-7pm with labs ending at 9pm?
Search more from @butterflyy3
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
14 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Bundled Teammate Forum Friend Hang 10
Report an issue