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brokenangel04
7,273 M Moving Along 6
PathStep 49 Compassion hearts301 Forum posts26 Forum upvotes48 Current upvotes48 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 8, 2022
Recent forum posts
Down and out
Depression Support / by brokenangel04
Last post
 February 9th, 2022
...See more Hey, I'm anxious, sad, angry and extremely sore. Missing my husband 😕
Broken
Relationship Stress / by brokenangel04
Last post
 January 29th, 2022
...See more Hey everyone. I was marriage 11.5yrs. Together 13yrs. 3.5yrs ago my husband started this affair with someone he worked with. In order to keep him happy and not lose him, I entered a ployamorous relationship with him and the girl. She left in October and since then my husband started drinking again, started treating me like crap, he just broke. Well she wouldn't talk to us because she wanted to fix her marriage. Apparently she and my husband started talking again end of December ish. He and I havent been in a good place since my breakdown a month ago. I harmed myself terribly. He didn't and still doesn't care. He told me 3weeks ago that he was moving out Feb 1st so he could be alone. That he still loved me and he wasn't disappearing from my life and that our marriage wasn't over. Well last night while he napped on the couch, my gut told me to look at his phone. So yes, I became that girl. I looked. And I flipped my s***. Found new pictures of his side piece in pornographic ways. I woke him up. Told him to leave. I started packing his things. He then breaks through the bedroom door, gets all sh***y with me and saying terrible things. So I slapped him. He hit me back, I grabbed his hoodie to push him away from me and he used his legs to shove me into the wall. I called my therapist, the mental hospital, the suicide hotline. My therapist was worried about me trying to end things so she called the police. They came. I was honest and told them what happened. They called a crisis guy to my house. He decided I was not at risk and did not need to be committed. The officer arrested me for domestic violence because I hit first. And off to jail I went. He and I can not speak text write or call for 72hrs. Which I'm completely fine with. He will be staying in the upstairs unit til he leaves Feb 1st. He kept saying I was crazy, and it's my fault that he is leaving, and that all of this is on me. Well, my husband, who thinks he can do no wrong, is a narcissist. Egotistical cheating pathological lying narcissist. And now, I'm hurt physically. Mentally. I can't sleep. And I'm wondering what I did so bad in my life that I deserved all of this? I'm glad he's leaving. I'm glad and proud of myself for making the choice of throwing him out. And honestly I wish I hit him harder just to make the arrest worth it. But reality is back and I don't know how to let go and move on. I don't know what I'm suppose to do. I can't medically work. I'm 40yrs old. I have basically zero support system now. Whose gonna want me? What's my purpose? I know God has a plan I do. I just wish he would let me in on it. But for now, what has helped all of you get through a divorce from a mentally, emotionally psychologically and now physically abusive toxic relationship? Im completely broken and after 13yrs of my world revolving around him I feel lost.
Lost
Relationship Stress / by brokenangel04
Last post
 January 26th, 2022
...See more Hey everyone. A summary if what's going on. My husband and I have been married since 2010. He got sober 2013. After a separation. 2018 a new person starts at the prison he works at and he starts an emotional affair. 2019 physical affair(not confirmed but likely) dec 2020 we start a polyamorious relationship with said woman. Oct 2021 she leaves us goes back to her husband. Nov 2021 husband starts drinking again. Dec 2021 shit hits the fan. My family and I stop talking, our kids (step kids- we each have one) stop talking to us because my husband can't control his damn mouth when he drinks. Husband gets in my face yelling screaming. I attempt suicide. Was stopped. Jan 2022 started cutting. He still drinks and puts me down every chance he gets. Starts working 3days of extra OT at work. (She no longer works there) he starts talking to her again because she told him she was diagnosed with bipolar and cut herself. He ignores me, our marriage his mental health and mine and immediately forgives her for leaving and making him out to be a monster. I defend him to everyone including her and I get shit on. He tells me a week ago that he his leaving feb 1st to move closer to work "because he needs to be alone". Half a block from the woman above. He is back to deleting messages, emails etc. Hiding phones calls. I am not in a place where I can handle all that again mentally. I'm losing....sorry lost my best friend, husband and security once again. And now hes moving out. Tells me to commit myself when I email him about what I've been feeling and being honest with him about everything that's been going on the last 2 months. Basically calling him out and then telling him how it has affected me, him and our marriage. The woman tells him to quit drinking and supposedly he has.. like seriously??? She's the reason he started again in the first place. Now he's off the next 3days and I unsure I will be able to handle him being here. Will we fight? Will he drink? Will I cut? Will my anxiety stay calm? Can I be who I need to be to support him and stay healthy for myself as well? I need help. What should I do??
I'm new here
Disability Support / by brokenangel04
Last post
 January 11th, 2022
...See more Hello everyone, I'm brokenangel04. I have an autoimmune disease, fibromyalgia and dysautonomia. I have been pulled from working since 2017. My physical health has destroyed my mental health which destroyed my marriage. Ive tried literally everything. I hate narcotics or opiates so I don't take those. But the pain is soooo bad some days that I can't even get out of bed. Aside from therapy whether group or individual what has helped those of you who suffer from chronic pain? Im going to start thi chi this year and maybe some yoga.
Suggestions
Self-Harm Recovery / by brokenangel04
Last post
 January 22nd, 2022
...See more What are some ways that have helped you not self harm? I feel like an addict who needs their next fix only for me it's cutting. I've haven't cut in 10days and I'm healing well from previous cutting. But I need new ideas on how to fight the urge. Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.
Anxious
Self-Harm Recovery / by brokenangel04
Last post
 January 9th, 2022
...See more Hello. I had a terrible night. Barely slept and when I did sleep I was woken up in a panic. Im still shakey, heart racing and super anxious. Today is going to be one of those days where I want to get so much done around the house but won't be able to. 😕
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