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berrysbs08
841 M Little Steps 1
living
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts54 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceJuly 29, 2024
Bio

a little about me (maybe not that little) :

- you can call me berry

- she/her

- im a student

- i developed eds over the summer (somehow diagnosed myself)

- i love pink

- sometimes, i think im a good person (im just not that expressive)

- i love life actually (it just gets too tough esp recently)

- i strive to become better

- i find joy in little things (and gets sentimental abt it lol)


Recent forum posts
i just need to let this out
Eating Disorder Support / by berrysbs08
Last post
 August 2nd
...See more 07/30 i was in a restroom yesterday at school. i sat and thought about the bread i ate for lunch. my first meal of the day. i thought i shouldn’t have eaten that bc now i feel like i can eat anything that’s in my way. then, i thought i Should eat bc food is fuel. and it hits me that whether i didn’t eat that bread or not, i would still feel miserable abt myself and my body. i didnt really have a choice but i tried my best not to cry at school and not let this affect my studies but it’s soo hard. i thought it would be easy that i would get over it once summer is done but here i am, the second day of school and cannot function well bc of all of this i just want to stop hearing the voices i was so filled with love and positivity in the past esp to myself and now im having a hard time not to look at the mirror and think too much about how visible i want my collarbones to be i check them from time to time including my shoulders. i thought that once im skinny enough, i would be happier but i dont really know tbh i just want to feel peaceful for a second
i want to talk to someone
Journals & Diaries / by berrysbs08
Last post
 August 1st
...See more 07/30 i’ve always been alone i have a few friends but none of them are my main best friends yk someone whom you can call your soulmate and things like that i love being alone and at some point i became my own best friend but sometimes i just feel like.. empty and lonely i know this feeling wont last forever but i just wonder what it would feel like if i have a best friend
trying my best to recover thread (1)
Eating Disorder Support / by berrysbs08
Last post
 August 4th
...See more 07/30 hi, everyone ! im somewhat new here and i saw some ppl do this kinds of thread so might as well do it too to keep myself on track and share my experiences with you all <3 day 1 today is my day 1 of trying to recover and minimize the voices of bed and ana. i made it official by deleting my fasting tracker app on my phone which has been there for almost three months. i binged yesterday and felt so bad right after but beyond that, i felt exhausted. im so tired of being stuck in the cycle of fasting then binging. today, i decided to finally take the first step to recovery on my own bc i have just gotten back to school and i cannot handle how unbelievably loud the voices are inside my head while in school. early in the morning, i ate a bowl of breakfast which is just enough for me. i try to take my head off the “i’ll fast tomorrow so might as well eat a lot today” mindset bc that would only lead me to binging and so far, i think i am doing good. i haven’t eaten anything after that so that would make it 13 hrs without having any food intake. i commuted today and considering how there are a lot of food stalls/shops around me, i was pretty tempted. i sometimes find myself thinking about the donut store which sells cheap donuts. it was a tiring day today. i was literally exasperated and my ed voice told me that i should get some food to feel a little less tired but honestly, all i needed was rest. so that’s what i did which makes me so proud :) i passed by the donut shop, headed my way home and then took a nap. im trying not to restrict myself but im also trying not to trigger it by making impulsive decisions. i think that’s all for now i hope i can keep this up for five days (at least) and after that i can go longer 🙏 p.s. you can reply to this thread if you want to ! i want to hear your thoughts as well
effects
Eating Disorder Support / by berrysbs08
Last post
 August 5th
...See more i heard from other ppl that having an ed would disrupt your focus on anything and i honestly didnt believe them at first but now that school resumes, im having a hard time focusing on some of my classes and the voices are soo loud (internally) i cant even figure out which one is for me and which one should i listen to i hope you guys have a great day ahead <\33
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