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badwolf1460
111 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceApril 8, 2021
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Really struggling
Eating Disorder Support / by badwolf1460
Last post
 April 8th, 2021
...See more I am 38 years old this month. I struggled with anorexia for a long time in my teen years. I have found that the struggle never really goes away, but some things make it worse. I slipped a disk in my back 2 years ago and last year was set to have surgery, and then covid happened. My surgery never happened, and this year I decided to try again. I met with a surgeon who told me that my back wasn't going to kill me, but my weight would if I didn't get it under control. He told me that I didn't need to be able to exercise, that I should just stop eating so much. He told me that if I really wanted to lose weight, the less I ate the more I would loose. Then he told me to visit a bariatric surgeon and maybe they could help me. I have had a hard time eating since then. The worst part is I am not that overweight. I am maybe 50 lbs overweight. I just can't deal with it anymore. I feel guilty for having a sandwich. When I have anything substantial I feel sick to my stomach for hours afterwards. I'm starting to love the feeling of pain in my stomach from the constant hunger. I don't want to go back to what I was, but I am not sure if I can stop it.
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